Archives for May 2009

It’s Sunday night. I still get that weird Sunday night “feeling.”  It’s the same Sunday night feeling from high school when I realized the fun weekend was over. My parents would tell me to get off the phone and I would be sitting in my bedroom all alone doing homework. It’s the same Sunday night feeling from college when I would be in my dorm room waiting for my roommate to get back from a weekend visiting her boyfriend.  The dining hall was closed so I would be eating Ooodles of Noodles from a Styrofoam cup trying to study.  It’s the same Sunday night feeling from my days working in an office.  I would lay in the bed with my hubbie watching TV or reading a magazine, just wishing we had ONE MORE DAY to hang out.  It’s a mix of anxiety, sadness, and anticipation of the week ahead.  I always thought it was a school thing.  Then I thought it was a work thing.  But it’s a stay-at-home mom thing too.  It’s the feeling that I’m not prepared for another busy week of scheduled activities and unknown toddler occurrences.  It’s that weird “calm before the storm” feeling.  It’s Sunday night.

It’s Friday!  Yahoo!  But we are all still sick.  Boo.  The kiddies have not stopped coughing and their poor noses are red and runny.  They spent the entire day inside the house playing with trains, cars, and trucks.  Yes, both of them.  Annabel is quickly turning into an adorable little tomboy thanks to her older brother.  We also read tons of books, played stickers and, of course, ran around in circles.  I’m hoping we can all get of the house tomorrow even if it’s just to run a few errands and breathe some fresh air.

This will be a quick entry because I desperately need to get under the covers with my peach “sick” tea (it has rum in it…thank goodness) and read my magazines.  But before I do, just some random Friday thoughts:

• Here is yet another reason why I dislike Kara DioGuardi.  (Because he wants YOU to clear it all up Kara. Thanks.)
• I heart Taylor Swift.  Thank you for being a great role model for teens.  She performed LIVE on The Today Show this morning and there is a one hour Dateline NBC special about her on Sunday.
• Something is clearly wrong with Tori Spelling’s mother.  Stay strong Tori.  I heart you too!
• Melissa Joan Hart is totally motivating me. I’ve been wanting to shed these extra baby lbs. FOREVER.   My goal is to be on the cover of PEOPLE magazine.  Ha. (IF ONLY that could happen.  That would be truly motivating.)
• Can you imagine your child winning the National Spelling Bee?  I can’t decide if it’s awesome or a little dysfunctional.

Finally, I hate that we can’t give our kids any type of cough or cold medicine.  My husband and I created an equal parts lemon and honey drink that we spoon to them throughout the day but it doesn’t seem to be working.  Is there anything worse than listening to two little ones cough and hack and you can’t really do anything about it?  Ugh.  I’m going to chug some of my tea.  Happy Friday .

I love that she is tall and has curly hair…just like my little girl!

I just hung up the phone with my sister and I can not believe how “normal” she sounds.  She just had a baby three weeks ago!  She also has two other children, ages 5 and 2 ½.  She had to take her middle child, Kate, to a doctor’s appointment and all four of them just got in the SUV and handled it with no problem.  And tomorrow, they are all going to Target so Baby Luke can get his first studio portrait taken.  “Are you sure you are okay?” I asked, “You are going by yourself with all three kids? Are you feeling up to it?”  “YES!” she said, “Everything is great. Everything is back to normal.” 

“Back to normal?” I thought, “Already? She’s a new mom! I know she’s not a mom for the first time, but she’s still a new mom all over again.”

I became a new mom for the first time in August 2006.  Daniel was born and it took me a LONG time to feel “normal.”  Having a baby was literally an out of body experience for me.  Once he was out of my body, I was out of my body too.  I felt like a new person in a really sick and scary way.  But the thing about having a newborn is you don’t have time to really focus on your own crazy feelings.  You are thrown on a treadmill that keeps moving and you can’t stop or you will fall – and maybe not want to get back up.

I remember coming home from the hospital and dealing with the fact that a) I was now a “stay-at-home mom” and b) there is a newborn baby here and “Hello? What do I do now?”

My husband went back to work, my mother-in-law left after a couple of weeks, and then there was me and this BABY.  I was never one of those girls who always loved BABIES.  Sure, I babysat for older kids when I was fifteen and sixteen, but never newborns.  I changed my very first diaper in the hospital the day after Bean was born.  It was 3 AM and he peed on me.  (Not a great start.)

So I just kept walking on the treadmill.   I figured out how to breastfeed.  I changed A LOT more diapers.  I smiled for all the visitors.  I took him to his first doctor’s appointment, his first trip to Starbucks, his first stroller ride around the neighborhood.  I just kept MOVING.

I remember reading Celebrity Baby Blog to find celebrity moms who had delivered babies around the same time I did.  There was Gwen Stefani looking so cute in her track suit and red lipstick pushing her newborn in a bugaboo stroller smiling for the paparazzi.  She looked so “normal!”  So what was wrong with ME?!

I am a total scheduler and list maker so I felt better when I had a routine.  That seemed to work for me.  Bean woke up, he fed, he played on the Baby Einstein fun gym, he pooped, he maybe napped, he fed again, we went for a walk, etc.  I had it all planned out.  I had to keep on moving. And it started to work.  I felt like I was getting back to “normal.”  But what I forgot to do was just stop and ENJOY my son.  I worried about what was next on the baby schedule.  It makes me a little sad now because I spent a really long time just TRYING to feel “normal” again.  So I didn’t just stop and have FUN with him.

Then, when Annabel was born in 2008, I tried really hard to remember those early scary feelings with Daniel.  Of course my hormones and emotions still took over, but I felt “normal” a little sooner.  With my second baby, I was just more mentally and emotionally prepared. I didn’t obsess over EVERY LITTLE THING.  I felt okay leaving Annabel in the swing a little longer.  I didn’t run to her every time she made a small cry from her bassinet.  I didn’t write down every single time she ate and pooped.  (Well, not EVERY single time.) I didn’t feel like I had to entertain her every second with a book or toy. I could exhale and ENJOY her.  It was awesome.

I guess with my sister’s third baby the time to feel “normal” again just came a lot sooner.  And I’m sure it’s different for every mom whether it’s your first or last baby.

Now my son is almost three and my daughter is 15 months old. Everything is back to “normal.”  But it’s a different normal, a new normal. I still get stressed and worried.  I still have schedules. I’m still always moving. But this new normal also includes watching two amazing little people grow.  And I get to be a part of it all.  I’m a lucky girl.

I’m really BLESSED because my children have NEVER had a major illness.  They both have also managed to avoid the common baby ear infections and baby fevers.  I’ve never had to take them to the pediatrician for any medical scare.

(Do you hear me LOUDLY KNOCKING ON WOOD??)

But they DO get COLDS.  Blech.

The snots, the drips, the little coughs.  Lots of mucus.  Everywhere.  And I totally hate it.

I know I completely overreact, but when one of my kiddies wakes up in the morning and I am greeted with a runny nose, I start to panic.  “Oh, no! Where is the Vitamin C?!  Keep them away from the other kid!  Where are the tissues? Where is the Little Noses bottle and the nose squeegee?  Ugh!”

I’ve always been this way.  I hated to be around sick people at school and at work.  I would walk around them.  I would avoid their personal space.  My husband thinks I’m crazy because I run around with Clorox Wipes and the Lysol can when someone sneezes.  I don’t know whether I am really turned off by the cold symptoms or if I really don’t want to catch a cold. 

I think it’s both.

And with kids, you can’t avoid colds entering your home.  It happens.  According to the American Academy of Pediatrics most children have eight to ten colds during their first two years of life.

Right now both Daniel and Annabel have a cold.  I’m really glad that it’s JUST a cold, but I still hate it.  They’ve been through five boxes of tissue in 48 hours.  There are damp washcloths sitting around my house in strategic locations ready to wipe their noses, cheeks, and arms. I always have to change their shirts and bed sheets because of the snot.  They want to watch TV.  They whine a lot more.  They sleep a little less. 

“BUT, after 7-10 days they will be better!”  (I have to keep telling myself this.)

Uh oh, I think I feel a scratchy throat coming on.  I need to go make some tea and relax. (And watch So You Think You Can Dance…)

We spent Memorial Weekend visiting my parents and my sister’s family in Maryland and my father-in-law in North Carolina.  We also spent A LOT of time on I-95 North and South. I did not know I could be so exhausted from sitting in the car (and twisting and turning to entertain and refuel two kids under the age of three!)  The main goal of this trip was to finally meet my new nephew and godson Luke (my sister’s third child).  He was just as sweet and cute as I had imagined:

Daniel and Annabel had a blast playing with their cousins:

We enjoyed the super cool Winston-Salem Children’s Museum:

Daniel LOVES school buses so we had to stop for this photo op in NC:

Both of my kiddies were awesome in the car.  We have done this trip a couple times before so I’m beginning to learn what to bring.  Here is my “Must Have” item list for the car:

• Lots of snacks.  My favorite thing to do is to put Cheerios in these fun snack cups.  This is especially entertaining for Annabel.  I just refill the cups over and over and I don’t worry because the kids are downing handfuls of healthy whole grain.
• Magazines. I used to give Daniel a bunch of new books but, unless I want to constantly turn around to read to him, they lost their entertainment value pretty quickly.  So I started bringing toy, sport, and kid furniture catalogs.  We call them Daniel’s “magazines.”  He will spend 30 minutes gazing at all the pictures and picking out what he wants.  (I now have to buy him a sprinkler pool and swing set, but we’ll deal with that later.)  Also, Grandma and Grandpa gave Daniel a subscription to Highlights.  I stock pile them and bring them on the car trip too.
• Mini Photo Albums.  Annabel slept a lot but when she was awake she loved to look through mini photo albums like this one.  I filled the album with pictures of everyone she would see on the trip.
• DVD Player.  If you read my previous blog, you saw that we broke down and bought our very first car DVD player.  I was against it at first because I did not want my two kids to be completely zoned out while their brains filled with mush.  But it was fine.  We just turned the DVD player on for 30 minute intervals twice a day.  They watched Blue’s Clues, Little Bear, or Sesame Street and then we would turn it off.  They thought it was so cool and it was a nice car break for Mama and Daddy.  It was a win/win and I’m sure we will use it again. 
• Car Seat Trays.  I don’t think I have found the perfect one yet, but we used these.  Daniel would use his to play cars and color.  I also used them for lunch.  We packed sandwiches, Go-Gurt, applesauce and milk in a travel cooler.  When we did stop at McDonald’s, it was easier to park and feed them in the car than waste a lot of time in the restaurant.  When they are older I’m sure this will not work, but it’s great for toddlers.

Also, Cracker Barrel restaurants are wonderful for changing diapers in a clean environment.  And they have a cute gift shop you just HAVE to walk through to get to the restrooms.  Of course I could not resist buying Annabel a dress for the Fourth of July:

Now we are home and the kiddies both have yucky trip colds.  I’m just so glad the snots and drips waited until we got back to Florida. 

I was excited to put the kids to bed, throw in a load of laundry, grab a glass of wine and watch the season premiere of Jon & Kate Plus 8. It was SO SAD.  I loved Jon & Kate Plus 8 back in the day when it showed Kate grocery shopping, potty training, and planning fun Valentine’s Day activities for her kids.  I told my husband that I loved to watch the show because it was so relaxing.  If Kate could be a stay-at-home mom with EIGHT kids surely I could do it with two kids.  She inspired me.  I loved that she was scheduled and organized because I parent the same way. Then the show just began to document all their free vacations and outings. And NOW it’s turned into marriage counseling.  I hope they can work it out.  I really do.  I was always a Kate fan and I am still on her side.  I can’t judge her because I’m not in her shoes.  I can’t imagine the pressure she is under to support her family.  I hope that the “fame” did not go to her head.  I hope she realizes that she married her husband FIRST and they decided to have children TOGETHER.  I hope they do what’s best for the kids and WORK IT OUT.  Of course, I’ll be watching all the drama unfold….

We are going on a long road trip up north to see my family (and meet my brand new nephew and godson Baby Luke!) over Memorial Weekend.  And guess what we just bought?  One of these:

I always swore to myself that I would NOT buy a portable DVD player for the car.  I never had one when I was a little kid and we went on many long car trips.  My family traveled in the mini van from Maryland down to Disney World in Florida (TWICE!) and we played Bingo, the license plate game, read magazines, listened to the radio, ate, or slept.  Those were the options.  And we were FINE. So in my mind, my kids did not need DVDs in the car.

Well, I need to bite my tongue, or eat my words, however you say it.  Because “welcome to my car Mr. DVD player!  I can’t wait to fill you with a Sesame Street DVD and turn you on!   Woohoo!”

Well, here are just some of the other things I thought I would NEVER do when I had kids of my own (but of course now I do them):

• Let my kids play in that germ infested play area at the mall.
• Change my baby’s diaper on one of those germ infested changing stations in the mall restroom.
• Buy my kids a toy or snack as a “bribe” if they will let me finish shopping at the (grocery, Target, book, etc.) store.
• Fill all six slots of my car DVD player with children’s sing-along DVDs.
• Have toys in the living room that are too big for the storage ottoman so they just SIT there.  In Full View.  All. The. Time.
• Give my kids dessert every night of the week (we were only allowed to have dessert on the weekends when I was little.  Maybe that’s why I do this one).
• Take my kids to McDonald’s (I know. WHAT was I thinking?)

So this weekend “Buy a DVD player for the car” will be added to my list of “Things I thought I would never do.”  I’ll pop in that DVD right after we stop for lunch at McDonald’s.