Archives for June 2009

When I was married and the thought of kids was still in the distant future, I would gaze quizzically at families when we were out at the shopping mall, grocery store or having dinner at a restaurant.  Sometimes I would think, “Aw, that family is really cute.”  But most times I would think,  “Why can’t those parents stop their kid from screaming or acting crazy or crying or WHINING??”  I didn’t walk in parent shoes back then, so I would be so annoyed and often (stupidly) think “Man, I would NEVER let MY kid act like THAT in public.”

Well, then I had kids and two things happened.  First, my Mommy sympathy gene appeared and I am no longer annoyed if other people’s kids are screaming or acting up.  I actually feel bad for them because being a parent is hard.

But another thing happened.  I realized that there are still some things that you CAN control. You can discipline your child and teach them manners. It’s a lot of work and stress, but you can do it.   But some parents just DON’T.

I’ve already mentioned my non-judging rule.  It’s hard to do, but I try REALLY, REALLY hard not to judge other moms.   I don’t know their circumstances and they don’t know mine, so it’s best to leave it at that.

This wasn’t a problem when both of my children were babies.  But now I have a toddler boy who is months away from turning three.  He is at an age where he likes to interact and play with other kids.  Most of the time it is in a completely organized and controlled environment like a Gymboree class.  But there are times when we are out and I have to deal with other people’s kids, whether I like it or not.

One example is the train table at our local Barnes & Noble bookstore.  Bean really enjoys playing with the trains there and I have taught him to share with the other little boys or girls who also come over to play.  He gets a lot of  sharing practice at home with his little sister.  It was hard at first, but now he is definitely understanding that he can’t yank something out of someone’s hand or bop them on the head.

But what am I supposed to do when some other kid behaves badly?  On Friday morning, we were at the bookstore to meet Clifford the Big Red Dog** and Bean went to the train table.  A couple of little boys had grabbed up all the trains and were playing in one corner of the table by themselves.  Bean went over and tried to grab a train.  I told him to wait and please ask the boy for “one train PLEASE.”  Well, Bean asked and reached out for the train at the same time.  Those two little boys stopped and yelled “NO” in unison.  They shoved by Bean and kept playing.  The worst part?  Their moms said nothing.  Bean didn’t get upset.  He just looked at me and I said, “Let’s just go.”  He was fine with that because we went to get a chocolate milk. (Hey, I never said “bribe” wasn’t part of learning.)

On Saturday morning, we all went to the mall where we stopped to play in that germ-filled center court playzone.  My husband watched Bean while I played with Annabel.  There were a bunch of older kids running around as well.  Bean went to climb into the passenger seat of a play car.  A little girl was already in the driver’s seat.  When Bean hiked his leg over to get in, she said “NO!” and wouldn’t let him play.  Later, he went back to climb onto the car and some little boys actually SHOVED him off and said “NO!”  My husband stopped, and yelled at the boys, “Hey! No pushing! Do not push people.” It’s awful to have to discipline other people’s kids, but it’s even worse when their parents sit and watch you do it and do NOTHING.

This happens more than I like.  I don’t want my son to be pushed around and not stand up for himself, but I desperately want him to respect others and have manners.  It’s an interesting learning process with a boy versus a girl.  I feel like we should be teaching Daniel to defend himself a little more because he is a boy.  It’s not right, but I can’t help but to think that way.  It also makes me realize that we won’t always be there to protect him.  That’s really hard.

**So, Clifford the Big Red Dog was a Big Red Diva!  We had been counting down the days to his Big appearance at the book store.  We arrived and were told to sit and wait.  Thirty minutes later, he was finally escorted out from the back by a handler and walked up to a mini stage.  We were allowed to take photos of him for five minutes. 

Photos OF him. Not photos WITH him. 

They said “No, Sorry” to personal photos because there was no time.  It was hilarious.  Who knew Clifford was such an A-Lister? Plus, I can download a photo of Clifford the Big Red Dog in two seconds from any website.  I don’t need a photo of him.  I want my kids to meet him so I can get a photo of that.  After five minutes, the handler told us to clear a path and stay to the side because Clifford was leaving.  Well, as Clifford walked by us, Bean ran up and gave him a high five!  And I got a photo!

I was so proud of my little boy. He didn’t follow the rules. Sometimes, there are exceptions 🙂

The very first album I bought was Thriller.  It was 1982 and I was in the fifth grade.  I saved up my allowance and went to the mall to buy it with my own money. I listened to that album on my record player in my bedroom for hours.  It was life changing. 

A few months later, my Dad bought a Betamax tape player.  We could now watch movies at home!   It was revolutionary. My Dad took me, my brother, and my sister to the local video store in the strip mall around the corner.

We could pick out any video we wanted.  It would be the very first video we would ever watch in our house. 

We picked out The Making of Michael Jackson’s Thriller.

“Don’t you want to rent a MOVIE?”  Dad said. 

NOPE, we wanted to watch Michael. 

Rest in peace, King of Pop.  May God bless your children and may we all remember you as an amazing entertainer and influential musical icon.

We bought Daniel his first toddler basketball hoop last Christmas.  He threw the ball at the basket a couple times on the back patio, but that was it.  He totally lost interest.

We also bought him a soccer ball.  He kicked that around the yard once in awhile, but there wasn’t a SPARK. 

Well, things have changed…he has discovered T-BALL! 

I am very excited that my little boy likes baseball (or rather a version of it).  We bought him this Little Tikes T-ball Set over the weekend and he has asked to play with it every day. 

The other exciting thing?  He’s pretty gosh darn good at it! 

(So I’ve started researching colleges with good Pre-Med AND baseball programs…)

I am not blogging today.

I am too depressed.

I just read THIS.

I’ll blog about it all tomorrow after I watch tonight’s (final?) episode on TLC.

🙁

Dear Dad:

I remember when:

-You told me everything was going to be okay when I had a nightmare and couldn’t sleep.

-You made me an awesome wooden puppet show theatre from scratch in your work area in the basement.

-You sat with me at our dining room table after dinner teaching me geometry and algebra problems on pad after pad of yellow office paper.

-You let me visit you at work and bought me a doughnut.

-You helped me make the most amazing Science Fair projects and you truly loved every minute of it.

-You did magic tricks for all my little girlfriends at my birthday parties.

-You held my hand on the Ocean City boardwalk.

-You threw softballs to me in the backyard (and you never took it easy on me.)

-You would always wait for me in the center court after a day of shopping and you always had that little white bag of chocolate coconut crispies.

-You loaded all my stuff in the mini van and dropped me off at college.

-You loaded all my stuff in the mini van and drove me home from NYC.

-You walked me down the aisle.

-You were always there for me.  Thank you, Dad.  Happy Father’s Day.

Love, Your Daughter

:::

Dear Baby,

I remember when:

-You always stayed positive even when I was so discouraged after months of negative pregnancy tests.

-You finally saw the positive pregnancy test in the bathroom of our Atlantic City hotel room after hours of playing poker downstairs.  Priceless.

-You told me we could handle anything after we got some bad news.

-You held my hand and told me funny stories so I wouldn’t cry during the MRI at Children’s Hospital.

-You bought that bookcase from the consignment shop and painted it for the nursery.

-You held Bean for the first time and changed his very first diaper.  You never hesitated for a second.

-You watched movies with Bean in the basement so I could sleep.

-You flew home every weekend so you could spend precious time with your baby.

-You were so happy to unwrap the second positive pregnancy test on Father’s Day 2007.

-You held Annabel for the first time and called her a “Kissie Magnet.”  You were right.

Thank you for being an amazing Daddy and role model, Baby.  Daniel and Annabel are so blessed to have you in their lives.  Happy Father’s Day.

Love, Your Wife

So tonight’s blog was going to be, “Woohoo!  I’m going out!  I’m leaving the house!  I’m going out on a date night with my husband and get this…we are going DANCING! Something I’ve been dying to do FOREVER.  I think the last time I went dancing at a club was four years ago.   I bought a super cute new outfit and here is a picture of me in it!”

Well, none of this is happening.  Why?  Because my back went out.  AGAIN.

The first time my back went out was when I was seven months pregnant with Annabel.  I was trying to hoist Bean up on the changing table and I just felt “click, click, click” down my lower back and BAM!  I was on the floor.  I was helpless.  My wonderful (amazing, incredible, I could go on and on and on) husband had to CARRY ME to the bedroom.  It would have been romantic expect I was SCREAMING IN PAIN.  I had to spend a week , mostly in bed, recovering.  The worst part?  My husband bought me this:

It was so helpful, but so depressing.  I’m not even forty years old and I’m wobbling around the house with a cane.  It was awful.  My mother-in-law (God Bless Her) had to come over every day for a week to help me take care of Bean while the hubbie was at work.    Everyday I felt a little better until FINALLY I was back to normal (no pun intended – Ha.)

Then it happened again after Annabel was born.  We were wandering around some garage sales in our neighborhood when I twisted down to look at a baby swing and BAM!  The same exact thing happened.  This time, since I wasn’t preggers and carrying around all that extra belly weight, I was only “down for the count” for a couple days.  But it was enough to make me schedule an appointment with a physical therapist.  She told me to exercise and do back strengthening exercises.  That was it.  (I was really, really hoping she was going to give me an open ended prescription for some PAIN killers, because back PAIN is just SO PAINFUL,  but NO.)  

I was given an exercise ball and instructions.

I was REALLY GOOD with those relegated exercises…for about a month.  Then, LIFE just got in the way. 

I’m a stay-at-home Mom with two kids under the age of three. THAT is my exercise.  I was also super careful to always lift Daniel and Annabel with my arm muscles, NOT my back muscles.  It’s really hard.  There is just so much lifting in and out of car seats, cribs, beds, etc.   And  just recently I have been leaning over half the day holding onto the hand of a 16 month old who wants to run, but usually just falls.

When I put the kids down for a nap today, I was SO excited to get ready for my night out.  I was waiting for the hubbie to come home so I could go out for my pedicure.  I had my outfit already hanging in my closet.  I went to check on Bean one more time in his new big boy bed.  He was still awake so I sat on the edge of the bed to talk him into napping. (Please!) And when I stood up to leave the room..BAM.  THE SAME THING HAPPENED.  AGAIN.  WORST TIMING EVER.

So here I am now, blogging instead of dancing.  Boo Hoo.  Oh well, everything happens for a reason..right? Someone must think I need to stay home and rest in bed tonight.  I really should NOT be out enjoying a wonderful, uninterrupted meal or having some lovely cocktails and conversations with ADULTS or dancing and partying.  NONE of that should be happening. Got it.  Thanks.

PS: Please comment if you have any back pain solutions, suggestions, good pain killer advice. I could use it.  Seriously.

When Daniel was born, someone bought him this stuffed dog:

It’s an “asthma-friendly” stuffed puppy dog and it’s the softest, snuggliest little guy ever.  My husband has asthma, so I was excited to see that a company actually makes asthma-friendly stuffed animals.  Please note that Daniel has many other types of stuffed animals.  Many he received during our baby shower and plenty that we bought him ourselves.   I was just trying to encourage Daniel to snuggle with this special dog during his naps and bedtime, so he would have an asthma-friendly piece of cotton stuffed against his face and body opposed to something that was asthma “unfriendly.” (Ahem.)  Better to be safe, than sorry.  Well, it worked and Daniel still sleeps with “Puppy Dog” today. 

So when Annabel was born, we bought her this:

The same asthma-friendly puppy dog, but in PINK.  We call it “Pinky.”  Annabel is 16 months old, so she only says a few words here and there, but she does say “Pinky.”  Actually, it sounds more like “Inky,” but it works.  I understand her.  What makes Pinky different from Daniel’s Puppy Dog is that Annabel is OBSESSED with Pinky.  Daniel just sleeps with Puppy Dog. Once Daniel is up and out of his bed, that is the end of Puppy Dog for the day.  “See ya next time Puppy Dog.” 

But Annabel is quite different.

Pinky started out as Annabel’s nap and bedtime stuffed animal.  But then she started reaching for Pinky when she was on the changing table.  Pinky kept her quiet and STILL when I had to change her diaper, so that was no problem.  And then Annabel had to have Pinky in the car seat with her during our long vacation road trip.  Fine.  But now things are gaining momentum.

Annabel has begun to SCREAM for Pinky if we leave the bedroom and it’s still in her crib.  Just two weeks ago, Annabel could sit and play with her toys in the living room, but now she has to have Pinky clutched in one arm.  She’s just learned to walk on her own and she has to have Pinky in one hand while she teeter totters around the house. 

(I guess I should be glad she’s holding onto something soft in case she feels the need to slam her head against the coffee table or wall.)

Today, a new habit has emerged.  Pinky had to join her for lunch!  Ugh.  As soon as I put Annabel in her high chair, she screamed for Pinky.  I was holding my ground and just handing her milk and goldfish crackers, but the screaming just got worse and worse.  So I ended up feeding Annabel her chicken soup, yogurt and applesauce while she hugged Pinky against her chest. (And yes, Pinky now has to take another “bath” to wash that broth and pink goop off her fur.)

I’m not trying to be “Mean Mommy” and not let my sweet daughter have a “lovey,” but there is another issue with Pinky.  Annabel puts her thumb in her mouth when she holds Pinky.  Not all of the time, but I notice it right before she goes down for naps or down for the night.  She clasps Pinky in her arms and shoves her thumb in her mouth.  When I check on her an hour later when she is sound sleep, the thumb is out of the mouth, so that makes me happy.  But sometimes when she has Pinky during the day now, and she’s playing, I slowly see her try and creep that thumb in her mouth.

I managed to avoid any pacifier addictions with both Daniel and Annabel. Which was thrilling!  But now I might have to deal with a thumb AND Pinky addiction at the same time.

Leave it to my adorable little girl to shake things up.

…and getting HOTTER.

The months of June, July, and August are BRUTAL in Florida.  We are all relegated to our lovely air conditioned homes.  (Although today, I was desperately pleading with my AC unit to PLEASE move down below 79.  PRETTY please??)  I equate this weather we are experiencing to a northern snow storm.  I’m just forced to be creative with indoor activities.   “Creative” is not my strong suit, so I usually just end up spreading bins of toys into different play areas in the house.   I can give Daniel and Annabel the “illusion” that we are in some super cool indoor play zone.  This usually doesn’t last very long, so I’m so thankful for the following: Our public library, Gymboree, the indoor shopping mall, Barnes & Noble and its train table, and the POOL.  The only time we can all hang outdoors is if we are immersed in some sort of water and slathered with SPF 50 (if there was an SPF 100, I would use it.)  It’s even too hot to hang in the shade.  We bought the kids a water table, but that lasted five minutes.

At least “Beez” uses it.