Merry Christmas from my family to yours! May God bless us all. Enjoy every moment.
– Pam
Archives for December 2012
Blessed
December 19, 2012 by Leave a Comment
This is the word I am using to describe EVERYTHING now. I’m so blessed. You’re so blessed. We’re so blessed. My kids finished up their short week with Christmas parties and lunches. Today was a half day and all the students gathered to watch my son’s Kindergarten class perform a nativity play. Both my kids have amazing teachers and I’m in love with their school. Now we’re on Christmas break and the house is filled with laughter and crazy energy.
I’m just so, so blessed.
Newtown
December 16, 2012 by 2 Comments
I wanted to come back here to post a picture of Daniel’s certificate from his Mind Math class. It was his first ever A+. And post the pictures from Annabel’s Christmas dance recital. She was a beautiful snowflake. But then, everything changed. I’ve been existing in a dark, cloudy emotional space for the past three days. There are parents, there are MOTHERS, who won’t be spending Christmas morning with their babies. There were 20 beautiful children and several loving teachers taken away from us way too soon because of someone evil. I should say “mentally ill,” but I just don’t feel like it.
I saw one of the little girl’s father on the news. He was asking us to pray for the family of the shooter. Of the evil one. I just can’t do it. Not yet.
My husband came home early on Friday so we could pick up our kids in the carpool lane together. Those were the longest 30 minutes of my life. When I saw them running to the car, hand-in-hand with backpacks flying and big smiles on their faces, I almost broke down. My eyes were already red and puffy and I tried to hide that. I just hugged them. Really hard.
I want to talk to their school. I want to know what the plan is for something like this. Is there a cabinet or a storage closet ready to go? Does my kid’s teacher have someone with mental illness in their life? Should there be an armed guard at the front door? Should I home school?
I want to scream to the heavens and ask, why, just WHY? I want to stop walking around in hazy circles. I want to stop checking the news websites every hour waiting for updates and watching the children’s names emerge. One is named Daniel.
It was a horrible day. It continues to feel horrible. I’m a mother and I just feel every mother’s pain. It’s so deep that I can’t even imagine what they must feel. I can’t imagine. I just pray.
I want to send them something. I want to do something for them. I want to hug them. All of them. I want to take my children and run away. Or lock them in the house and never leave. I want to take away all the guns. I feel that it’s my job to protect them from this big, bad world. I hate that I feel that way.
Instead, I will take them back to school in the morning. With a heavier heart. And a little more fear. And also with immense gratitude. And with so many questions running through my head. And with the sadness that comes from living in a world that continues to chip away at our children’s innocence.
This image brought me some peace. It’s called “Security” from bowman-art.com
My Favorite Songs of 2012
December 10, 2012 by Leave a Comment
These are my 10 (er..11?) favorite songs of 2012. (In no particular order. Really.)
1. “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” by Taylor Swift
Taylor came back swinging with this first single off her new album, “Red.” It’s catchy. It’s fun. And you just know there are thousands of girls dedicating this to their ex-boyfriends right now. Taylor always finds a way to stay relevant while creating a huge country pop song in the process.
2. and 3. “Call Me Maybe” by Carly Rae Jepsen and “Somebody That I Used To Know” by Gotye. TIE.
I wrote that these two songs were in a head-to-head battle for “Song of the Summer.” Well, they both win in my book. You’re probably singing one of them in your head right now.
One of my favorite songs of the year. And she’s so gosh darn cute too.
4. “Drunk On You” by Luke Bryan
Ah, yes. This was the song that led to my love affair with a new country boy. And thank goodness. He is super cute, has an amazing voice, and some real rockin’ stage presence. I couldn’t keep my eyes off the television when he performed this song at the 2012 CMT Music Awards. Remember this name all you pop fans. I feel a crossover in his future.
5. “Home” by Phillip Phillips.
I am a loyal American Idol fan so I get really excited when one of my favorite contestants releases a song that I actually like. And this one was a HUGE hit. You heard it during the Olympics and then everywhere else after that. It’s so cool and different and original. Just like Phillip Phillips.
6. “Zou Bisou Bisou” by Jessica Pare
Okay, I’m cheating a little with this one. But once I heard this song, I was singing it for about a week straight. It’s also from one of my favorite TV shows, Mad Men. (Just check out the look on Jon Hamm’s face during the entire performance.) I didn’t really think Jessica’s Megan Draper character was going to be a major player, but she proved me wrong. You go, girl.
7. “Glad You Came” by The Wanted
The Wanted joined the boy band scene this year and they are probably the least “boybandy” of all the boy bands. And that’s just fine by me if they keep making cool songs like this one. It’s also kinda naughty. I likey.
8. “Drive By” by Train
I googled the lyrics to “Drive By” so I could sing them correctly at the top of my lungs every time it came on the radio. Train just always seems to come out with a song that doesn’t sound like anything anybody else is doing at the time. They did it again with this one.
9. “One More Night” by Maroon 5
I was having trouble picking between this song and Maroon 5’s “Payphone.” Let’s just say they both rock but I liked this video better.
10. “Queen of California” by John Mayer
I couldn’t have a list without my favorite male singer/songwriter, now could I? This is my favorite single off John’s latest album, Born and Raised. The whole albums rules. It reminds me off all the road trips I’ve taken this year. He’s slowly recovering from throat surgery so I’m crossing my fingers there’s a concert tour in 2013. I’ll be first in line for tickets.
*Bonus: “Locked Out Of Heaven” by Bruno Mars
This song was just released and I love it so much. I’m sure it will continue to climb the charts in 2013 especially since Bruno will release his new album, Unorthodox Jukebox, tomorrow. I will be downloading.
What song was your favorite this year?
Happiness is a Store-Bought Cookie
December 4, 2012 by 2 Comments
Oh my goodness. It’s so easy for me to get caught up in all this holiday “hustle and bustle.” I love Christmas. I love the spirit of Christmas. But I tend to stress over the details and that always takes away some of the enjoyment. We have to get to the store today to get this toy before it’s gone! We have to get the Christmas card photo done NOW or they will never get out in time! We need to make a list of teacher gifts! And on and on. I decided yesterday that I’m officially relieving myself of the traditional duty of baking Christmas cookies. This is HUGE for me. I don’t like to give up. But cooking and baking are not my “thing.” The worst part? I just don’t enjoy it. The thought of filling the kitchen with lovely smells of sugar and spice as carols fill the air sounds really cool and all, but it never turns out that way. I will get frustrated and grumpy and no one has any fun. And the cookies never taste that great. So I’ve decided to have the kids pick out their favorite Whole Foods bakery cookies on Christmas Eve and that will be our new family tradition. (They are soooo yummy.)
I think because I love Christmas so much I feel a need to make everything perfect. I want the perfect advent/countdown calendar. I tape every holiday TV special and I will beat myself up if I miss one. I will analyze the stocking stuffers to make sure I have the right amount and they all have some special meaning. I want everyone to have their perfect Santa visit outfit, Christmas Eve outfit, and Christmas Day outfit. I want the Santa cookie jar filled with lots of homemade goodies. It’s all motivated by me wanting to give my children perfect Christmas memories. But I’ve finally realized that if I don’t stop for a second, I’ll miss the memories I’m trying to create. And what’s perfect even mean?
This was the first year I did not venture out on Black Friday and I was so happy with that decision. Rather than spinning in circles at the shopping mall, I was relaxing on the couch with my family. We talked and played games. We watched a movie. It was worth so much more than a discount I would have received on something at the Disney Store.
I’m Daniel’s room mom and I’ve been stressing about the costumes for his Christmas play. I had to cut head and arm holes into tons of pillowcases and I worry that some are off-center or too jaggedy. But then I thought about it. The kids are so excited for the play. The teachers can’t wait for the parents to see it. And no one will even notice a not-so-perfect costume. I should feel blessed to spend so much time in my son’s classroom. Today I got a special “sneak peek” at one of the Christmas presents for the Moms. I watched Daniel play with his buddies and make a LEGO rocket ship. He loves when I’m there. That’s all that matters.
I took Annabel to her dance class yesterday so she could rehearse for the Christmas recital. I usually sit there with my iPhone and my Kindle getting work done or catching up on a new book. (Right now I’m reading Rob Lowe’s autobiography and it’s awesome.) But then something just shook me. I just stopped and looked up.
My little girl was dancing. She was twirling in circles and giggling with her friends. She was following her teacher’s moves by looking in the mirror over my head. I was mesmerized by her concentration and by that look of innocent joy. She was in the moment. I put everything away and just enjoyed her. I felt my eyes well up and I’m sure the other Moms were wondering why I was so emotional. I just felt so overwhelmed by the moment. THIS IS WHAT IT’S ABOUT, I thought. Don’t forget THIS.
So I’m declaring here and now that I will no longer spend my holiday time stressing about a teacher gift, a party dress, or that toy I didn’t buy yet. It’s not worth it. I’d much rather be with my family. In the moment. Eating a store-bought cookie.
