Happy 40th Gwen Stefani

I love Gwen Stefani. 

I met her once backstage at a concert.  I really wanted my No Doubt Rolling Stone cover signed, but we were only allowed to take some quick photos of the group.  I stuck around until the end and kinda pushed my way to where Gwen was standing.  I remember she was really tall, had on tons of make-up, and was, of course, gorgeous. She graciously signed my magazine while her bodyguards cursed me out.  (That’s what they get paid to do - I totally get it.)

There was a time when I thought Gwen and I led parallel lives.  She’s married to a rock star.  I’m married to a radio star.  She had a son.  Then, I had a son. (She was the reason I bought this baby sling.  She rocked it, so I wanted it.) She’s a blonde.  I’m a blonde.  Well, at least I can dream that I will look half as amazing as she does when I turn 40.  Happy Birthday Gwen!

Open Letter to Kate Gosselin

Dear Kate,

Please quit the show.

Quit the show that involves you and your eight adorable children.  We’ve watched them grow up on TV and it has been a fun and joyful ride, but now it’s enough.  Cara and Mady especially need to move on without cameras.  I heard you say on The Today Show this morning that your children LOVE the show and that they were “wailing and sobbing” when they found out their Daddy had temporarily pulled the plug.  That may be true but I know kids and YOU know kids, Kate.  Give it a week and they will be glad the cameras are gone. You have given them an amazing life and that will continue on.

We all understand you need the money.  You have eight kids! But I think YOU should do a show. You can do a talk show or a lifestyle show about raising eight kids. Take us back to when we first loved Jon & Kate Plus 8. We loved YOU and were in awe of how well you organized your house and your life.  You had fun holiday ideas and interesting outings.  You can take all that and put it into a talk show about being a single mom.

That’s the other thing Kate.  You and Jon are over.  O-V-E-R. We all know it.  Jon nailed that door shut when he showed up in the tabloids a week later with his new girlfriend.  I wrote here that I thought maybe you both could (or should) still work it out.  I still believe that marriage is sacred and you should try and save it.  But based on Jon’s antics and all this back and forth press that continues on and on and on, it is time for you both to MOVE ON.  Sign the divorce papers.  Take off your ring.

You are a strong woman, Kate.  You can do it on your own.  But be sure to get some really supportive people around you. I felt sick when I saw this interview with your brother and sister-in-law.  They may have been trying to protect your children, but they are just as bad as the papparazi when they run their mouths to an online tabloid magazine.

You can absolutely do a  television show that does not have your kids in it.  You are a star.  You are a celebrity.  And that is what will make you money.  Write more books.  Write your cookbook.  People will buy it.

There’s a small window of opportunity here.  This whole thing is tuning into a really bad he said/she said eight-ring circus. You’ve said that you will take the high road.  We all appreciate that. So end Jon & Kate plus 8 (or Kate plus 8) NOW.  Do it before you lose all your fans.  Do it now with dignity.  Do it before we do it for you.

Take some time off to be with your kids in this new transition.  When you are ready, come back.

We will be here.

-Pam

Where’s my “Team Kate” T-shirt?

I wrote about the deterioration of Jon & Kate (Plus Eight) Gosselin’s marriage here.  I wished, back then, that they would have worked on their marriage a little more before calling it quits.  But I think I may have spoken too soon. 

Here is a list of headlines from the popular entertainment and tabloid magazines that feature “Jon Gosselin.” 

(And these are JUST from the month of JULY):

Jon Gosselin Gets an N.Y.C. Bachelor Pad

Jon Gosselin Holds Hands With New Girlfriend in France!

EXCLUSIVE: See Mugshot of Jon Gosselin’s New Girlfriend

Pal: Hailey Glassman Dating Jon Gosselin “to Get Famous”

Jon Gosselin Brags He’s Bringing Back “Good Ol’ High School Days!”

Jon Gosselin and 22-Year-Old Girlfriend Enjoy PDA-Filled Day in the Park

Jon Gosselin Hits the Hamptons - with Lindsay Lohan’s Dad

Jon Gosselin’s New Girlfriend Shocked He’s Out with Another Woman

Jon Gosselin’s Double Date with a New Kate - and Real Housewive’sJill Zarin!

Tabloid Reporter Resigns Over New Boyfriend Jon Gosselin

Need I say more??

Jon minus Kate

It was so ominous when that paragraph flashed on the screen last night in black and white:

“On Monday, June 22, 2009, legal proceedings were initiated in Pennsylvania to dissolve the ten-year marriage of Jon and Kate Gosselin.”

It is just so sad.  I have been a loyal watcher of Jon & Kate Plus 8 since the very beginning.  I even watched the very first two stand alone documentaries about the birth of the sextuplets.  I was fascinated by the juggling act of caring for the twin girls and sextuplets.  There were a couple flashback scenes last night.  I miss those earlier episodes when it was really about taking care of those cute kids. 

So, Jon & Kate are going to divorce each other, but not the show?  I think this is the first time a reality show will actually document the end of the relationship.  Sure, Nick & Jessica and the Hogans both split up, but that was AFTER their reality shows were off the air.  Jon & Kate are sticking around to document the demise of their marriage. The press often wrote about the “curse” of the celebrity reality show.  Now it seems it is happening again.  Jon & Kate did not start out as celebrities.  But they sure are A-listers now.  They were on the cover of every entertainment and tabloid magazine last week.  I know everyone thinks Kate loves the limelight, but who would really love that light shining on you?  Those magazine covers say her husband is a cheat and she mistreats her kids.

I cringed a couple times during last night’s episode.  Once when Jon said, “I don’t hate Kate, but…”  Ouch.  There should have been a period at the end of that sentence.  She is still the mother of your EIGHT children.  Also, when Kate was calling Jon on his cell phone to tell him where to put those crooked houses.   She did seem a little nervous about it and I was just waiting for Jon to FINALLY  lose it.  He has always been (portrayed as) super laid back and nonchalant.  Now he seems like he’s just DONE.  He seems relieved that his marriage is over.  He even said the word “excited” at one point.   What is he excited for?  A new life with another woman?  A new wife? Does he want to drink and party because he was married so young and he missed out?  Does he want to snowboard all day? What does he WANT?

How is it going to work with Jon & Kate sharing that Mansion?  Kate mentioned that she will be sad when she has to leave the house on the days when Jon has the kids.  So weird. At least it means Jon & Kate are truly thinking about the eight children and giving them some day-to-day stability.  The children were cuter than ever on last night’s episode.  They loved their new crooked houses and they looked happy and relaxed.  I wonder what they actually know.

Kate seemed so sad and I’m curious about the truth of her statement that Jon has a lot of anger and just won’t talk to her. She made it seem like he wouldn’t even TRY to work on their marriage. I was wondering the same thing throughout this entire sullen episode.  Why no marriage counseling first?  They are religious churchgoers, so why no try at some church intervention?  Why doesn’t Jon get a job outside of the house so he could be happier?  Why does Kate have to travel SO much? 

I LOVE this show, but even I have to ask this final question?

Why not quit this reality show for good and SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE?

:::

On another, and completely different, note: 

Happy Birthday Mom!  I hope you had a super fun and worry-free day!  You deserve it. 

PS: Only 16 more days until Big Brother 2009!

First Comes Love, Then Comes…Baby?

What is this “trend” with everyone having babies FIRST and then (maybe) getting married SECOND?

I don’t want to get political and scream from a virtual soapbox, ”Whatever happened to conservative values in this country? What happened to the ‘old fashioned’ way of getting engaged, getting married and THEN having kids?”  I’ve just been noticing this “trend” more and more, especially with celebrities.  I don’t know whether the celebrities think it’s COOL or if their pregnancies were “accidents” or even if they are making some political statement themselves (I’m looking at you Brangelina), but I’m feeling a little bit in the minority here.  I was married and THEN I had my babies.

Some of the People Magazine and Us Weekly headlines this week were about Kendra Wilkinson from PLAYBOY and the E! Entertainment show Girls Next Door. She has a brand new reality show called Kendra.  But the headlines were not about her new show.  They were about her pregnancy.  “Kendra Wilkinson and her fiance, NFL star Hank Baskett, are going to become parents.” There was even a quote from her former “boyfriend,” Playboy honcho Hugh Hefner. Hef said he was ”really happy to learn that Kendra is pregnant.”  And there were other notes of congratulations from her friends and fellow Playmates.  But I’m thinking, “Wait. She’s not married yet.  Wasn’t that last episode of her reality show all about agreeing to host her big day at the Playboy mansion?  And now she’s having a BABY?”

I just think it’s interesting that no one blinks an eye anymore.  There were no quotes talking about her getting pregnant before her nuptials.  Not one.

Okay, maybe because it’s Kendra, but it’s pretty darn common.  At least Kendra is planning on getting married later this month.  But there are other celebrities that simply have no intention of tying the knot.  I mentioned Brad and Angelina.  Brad has been quoted as saying, “Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able…”  Um, I don’t know about you Angie, but that sounds like a LINE??  Did you not watch that movie He’s Just Not That Into You??  Well, I watched it on DVD this weekend and one of the many take away messages for us chicks is this: If he wants to marry you, he WILL MARRY YOU!

Then there are the young starlets like Jamie Lynn Spears and Bristol Palin.  They both had babies and I don’t think they are even engaged anymore.  MTV just launched a reality series about this trend called 16 & Pregnant.  It highlights the lives of teen girls in this country who are getting pregnant before marriage and even before their high school graduation. 

Then there is Nicole Richie and Joel Madden.  Nicole is pregnant with baby NUMBER TWO and still no ring on her finger.  This is a quote from her recent appearance with talk show host Larry King:

“…when I was a little girl, I dreamed about getting married and that is definitely a dream of mine one day. But right now, we’re really really focused on our family; we’re focused on our foundation. As far as feeling that need of commitment, we both really have that in each other.  I think for both of us, we are going to do it because we want to, not because that’s what you do.”

But WHY don’t you WANT to?  I really don’t understand the downside of getting married.  It gives you security.  It is the foundation for your family.  It gives your children security by showing your commitment. 

I don’t get it, but I also don’t want to judge.  I may be a conservative, but I also believe in living your own life.  Heck, I HATE when anyone judges ME. 

But Nicole Richie, I just have to ask…

“Why are you carrying my baby girl??”  (Well, I see a slight resemblance…)

AND she’s a SUPERMODEL

I’ve been searching for the perfect skincare product for awhile now.  And when I say “searching,” I really mean reading In Style, Allure and other magazines that print ”best of” beauty products issues.  But once I find a product that looks interesting, and in my price range, I always chicken out and go back to my mainstay, Clinique.  I’m been using the “Dramatically Different” bottle of yellow moisturizing lotion for SO long now, it is really hard to change.  I love my Clinique lotion, but I want to really dig in and find a great anti-aging product.  I am fair skinned and super sensitive so I also need extra protection. 

The other day I did something that is (slightly) shocking. I ordered this after watching an INFOMERCIAL:

It’s Meaningful Beauty by Cindy Crawford.  Cindy developed this skincare line together with a leading dermatologist from Paris.  She calls it a “complete age maintenance” system.  I was literally glued to the television screen for 30 minutes watching this infomercial.   I was SUCK(er)ed in!  Just look at all the cool stuff I get!

There is a cleanser, a daytime moisturizer, a nighttime moisturizer, a mask, an eye cream, a serum, and a (bonus!) neck cream.   It’s every product I need/want and I didn’t have to keep “researching” (ie: awkwardly asking the chicks behind the cosmetic counters what they recommended.)

It was just so easy to call the number, give my credit card, and then have all the products at my front door in five days.  (Geez, now I sound like an infomercial.)  But honestly, it really wasn’t that expensive and I figure if Cindy Crawford is putting her name on it AND there is a dermatologist involved, I can feel good about it.  I just started using the products today, so I’ll see what happens. 

I just hope it’s not “Bean Bag Tuna.”

Normal

I just hung up the phone with my sister and I can not believe how “normal” she sounds.  She just had a baby three weeks ago!  She also has two other children, ages 5 and 2 ½.  She had to take her middle child, Kate, to a doctor’s appointment and all four of them just got in the SUV and handled it with no problem.  And tomorrow, they are all going to Target so Baby Luke can get his first studio portrait taken.  “Are you sure you are okay?” I asked, “You are going by yourself with all three kids? Are you feeling up to it?”  “YES!” she said, “Everything is great. Everything is back to normal.” 

“Back to normal?” I thought, “Already? She’s a new mom! I know she’s not a mom for the first time, but she’s still a new mom all over again.”

I became a new mom for the first time in August 2006.  Daniel was born and it took me a LONG time to feel “normal.”  Having a baby was literally an out of body experience for me.  Once he was out of my body, I was out of my body too.  I felt like a new person in a really sick and scary way.  But the thing about having a newborn is you don’t have time to really focus on your own crazy feelings.  You are thrown on a treadmill that keeps moving and you can’t stop or you will fall - and maybe not want to get back up.

I remember coming home from the hospital and dealing with the fact that a) I was now a “stay-at-home mom” and b) there is a newborn baby here and “Hello? What do I do now?”

My husband went back to work, my mother-in-law left after a couple of weeks, and then there was me and this BABY.  I was never one of those girls who always loved BABIES.  Sure, I babysat for older kids when I was fifteen and sixteen, but never newborns.  I changed my very first diaper in the hospital the day after Bean was born.  It was 3 AM and he peed on me.  (Not a great start.)

So I just kept walking on the treadmill.   I figured out how to breastfeed.  I changed A LOT more diapers.  I smiled for all the visitors.  I took him to his first doctor’s appointment, his first trip to Starbucks, his first stroller ride around the neighborhood.  I just kept MOVING.

I remember reading Celebrity Baby Blog to find celebrity moms who had delivered babies around the same time I did.  There was Gwen Stefani looking so cute in her track suit and red lipstick pushing her newborn in a bugaboo stroller smiling for the paparazzi.  She looked so “normal!”  So what was wrong with ME?!

I am a total scheduler and list maker so I felt better when I had a routine.  That seemed to work for me.  Bean woke up, he fed, he played on the Baby Einstein fun gym, he pooped, he maybe napped, he fed again, we went for a walk, etc.  I had it all planned out.  I had to keep on moving. And it started to work.  I felt like I was getting back to “normal.”  But what I forgot to do was just stop and ENJOY my son.  I worried about what was next on the baby schedule.  It makes me a little sad now because I spent a really long time just TRYING to feel “normal” again.  So I didn’t just stop and have FUN with him.

Then, when Annabel was born in 2008, I tried really hard to remember those early scary feelings with Daniel.  Of course my hormones and emotions still took over, but I felt “normal” a little sooner.  With my second baby, I was just more mentally and emotionally prepared. I didn’t obsess over EVERY LITTLE THING.  I felt okay leaving Annabel in the swing a little longer.  I didn’t run to her every time she made a small cry from her bassinet.  I didn’t write down every single time she ate and pooped.  (Well, not EVERY single time.) I didn’t feel like I had to entertain her every second with a book or toy. I could exhale and ENJOY her.  It was awesome.

I guess with my sister’s third baby the time to feel “normal” again just came a lot sooner.  And I’m sure it’s different for every mom whether it’s your first or last baby.

Now my son is almost three and my daughter is 15 months old. Everything is back to “normal.”  But it’s a different normal, a new normal. I still get stressed and worried.  I still have schedules. I’m still always moving. But this new normal also includes watching two amazing little people grow.  And I get to be a part of it all.  I’m a lucky girl.