Bye Training Wheels

We took the training wheels off Daniel’s bike this past weekend.

And, of course, captured the moment he rode on two wheels for the very first time.

“Look, Mama.  No hands!”  Well, that was my husband.  You go, Bean.

A 2011 Recap

In 2011…

I hit a major milestone.

So did my son.

And my daughter.

And my marriage.

And our country.

We lost a loved one.

And had the (not so) tough conversation.

We lost a pioneer.

We were back in the ER.

We had a fire in our backyard.

I watched a real life fairytale.

We went to Disney.

We went to the grand opening of LEGOLAND.

I went to my first Jags game.

Daniel started playing two new sports.

Annabel started dance class and got her first bike.

I had my heart broken by a woman.

Then, I fell in love with another one.

I met a Real Housewife.

I met Greg Brady.

I met Taylor Swift.

I spent the night with some New Kids.

Daniel went to his first movie.

I added another movie to my all-time-favorites list.

And another.

We decided not to travel and spent Thanksgiving at home.

We spent Christmas at home too.  And went on some fun holiday adventures.  Daniel even ice skated for the very first time.

And we rang in the new year with some great friends.

It was a year of major milestones and family moments.  I’m excited (nervous? curious?) what 2012 will bring.

 

Collide

When I had my children 18 months apart, I knew there would be days (weeks, months!) that would be tough. It’s inevitable when you have two little ones so close in age.  The first months were difficult because I had a brand new walker and a newborn.  Then, there was an awesome period when Daniel was 3 and Annabel was 2. They could finally play together and it felt like I had twins.  It still feels like that sometimes.

But now I’m going through another difficult period.  Daniel has reentered his school worry stage.  And Annabel has started an “I don’t like school anymore” phase.  And let me tell you…Whoa.  Just WHOA.  This morning was an example of the worst of it.

I put Daniel in ASC (After School Care) two days a week on the recommendation of his teacher.  Because Daniel is repeating his Pre- Kindergarten year, he is now one of the older children in his class.  There are a handful of 5-year-olds (like Daniel) and the rest are 4-year-olds.  The teacher is wonderful and has managed to teach to the different skill levels and needs of the kids.  Daniel is starting early reading while other children are in learning centers.   She works with him on his speech which is improving dramatically.  He is doing awesome. She also said we should start extending his day at least a couple times a week so he can start getting used to the longer hours when he starts Kindergarten in the fall.  Also, it would be great for him socially and I know he needs to continue to work that “muscle.”

Well, Daniel does not like change.  He’s very sensitive, like his Mama, and he gets a little nervous.  But he’s been doing the ASC for two weeks now and I thought it was finally just a part of  his new school routine.  No.  I basically have to prepare myself for a torturous morning of  anxiety each day he has ASC.  He over thinks it. He tries to be brave but his sad face makes me feel horrible, like I’m sending him off to some mean place. And it’s just a few extra hours of playtime and eating lunch with his friends.

Annabel might be feeding off Daniel, but she has begun her “I don’t like school anymore” phase.  After I drop Daniel off at his school, we have a 45 minute wait before Annabel goes to her preschool.  It used to be fine. We would pack her lunchbox and backpack, go for a walk, read some books, and then off we went.  She would smile and run into class.  She loved school. But the last two times have been a horrible watching-the-clock wait while she complains and whines about how much she doesn’t want to go. This morning I had to drop her off kicking and screaming.  It was awful. I know it’s another “phase,” but I wonder if something happened.  She won’t give me answers and her lovely teacher says she is a joy.  But the same thing happened with her dance class.  She no longer goes to dance because after three weeks of sitting and crying on the sidelines, it just wasn’t worth it.  I’m not going to force her to do a 30 minute dance class that she is supposed to love!  I was super disappointed because she was my little ballerina girl.  But I’ve moved on.  I didn’t want to make a big deal about it because she’s allowed to change her mind.  She’s allowed to CHANGE.  But she was always my “easy” one.  She was the one who ran in and didn’t look back.  Well, the universe is laughing at me now. Big time.

I’m emotionally exhausted. It’s just hard that these two challenging milestone moments are happening at the exact same time.  You’d think they planned it. Hmmm…anything’s possible with these two.

 

Roar!

I went to my very first Jacksonville Jaguars football game yesterday.  I’ve been in Jacksonville for five years now, so it was about time. Our awesome friends had extra tickets, GG was free to babysit, so away we went!  I was equally thrilled to watch football as I was to get some grownup play time!

That’s me and Touchdown, our Jacksonville Jaguar mascot.  He was in front of the entrance to the “Touchdown Club.”  Oh, I didn’t mention that our friends super spoiled us with club seats?  They rock.

I had to take a look at our seats before we grabbed some lunch.  It was thrilling to walk into the stadium.  It’s the same excitement I get when a concert is about to start.

We had lunch and Hubbie and I bought some cool hats.  It looked like it was going to rain or be really hot. That’s Florida.  So we had to be prepared with some head coverage.  I love my pink hat.

Special thanks to my girlfriend for letting me borrow her turquoise necklace.  We wore white because the game was declared a “white out.”  But a lot of fans still wore game jerseys and other “interesting” outfits.  I tried to get a photo of the dude wearing a full-on jaguar body suit, but I missed my chance.   But here’s a guy with a funny hat:

After a couple of beers, and a rum and coke, I even forgot we were losing!

But we lost to the Cincinnati Bengals, 30-20.

I really wasn’t that sad.  We had such a great time.  So great that Hubbie and I were calculating how we could buy season tickets next year, and bring the kids to all the games!  And even get the seats in the club section! Um, maybe we’ll just keep schmoozing our friends.  Thanks again, guys!!

PS: I didn’t include the photos of all the food I ate or the shots Hubbie took of the cheerleaders.  For obvious reasons.

10 Years

Ten years ago today I married my best friend.  We were married in the beautiful courtyard of a historic inn in Charleston, South Carolina.  We were just dating when we first visited Charleston together and I fell in love with the city in two seconds.  Just like I fell in love with my husband.

Yes, it’s true.  It was love at first sight.  The one you always dream about. The kind in fairy tales.  We worked together so it started out as a secret romance which really made it fun.  He was, and still is, my soul mate.

We were married four days after 9/11.  It’s defining because it slammed everything into perspective.  It didn’t matter if my hair wasn’t perfect.  It didn’t matter if it was too hot outside.  It mattered that all my friends and family made it to our wedding.  It mattered that I stood in front of all these people and committed myself to the love of my life.

And we had the perfect destination wedding with 30 of our closest friends and family members. Everyone was just so excited to be there to celebrate something happy. It’s weird because I thought there would be this dark cloud overshadowing our special day.  But it didn’t feel like that at all.  The love in the room was just elevated. Our only gift request was that everyone stand up and give us a wedding toast and everyone’s words left us speechless.  It was awesome.  We had an informal reception in the dining hall of Magnolias restaurant where I danced with my Dad and cut the cake.  We all ended up at a small local bar for drinks. At the end of the night, Hubbie and I walked back to the Inn hand in hand while everyone yelled “Congrats!” along the way.  I was floating on air.

But there are two key memories I will never forget about that weekend.  Memories that I don’t think I’ve even shared with my husband. The first was watching the 9/11 footage together the day we arrived.  We planned to fly, but had to drive because everything was canceled.  We sat at the end of our poster bed, almost in shock, as we watched the rescue workers still trying to find survivors in all the rubble.  It was heartbreaking.  Then a young man was interviewed about his fiance.  She was missing and he had hope.  He said he would not give up hope that he could still find her.  She worked on the top floor of one of the towers, but, he said, she was a survivor.  He planned to stay there at the sight with his friends and family and he would shovel the rocks and metal until he found her.  We both sat and cried.  My husband, who never cries, was right there with me.  We both could not imagine losing each other.

The second memory happened the morning of our wedding.  We were staying together in the same room and planned to separate before the ceremony.  I don’t know if it was nerves, or the southern food from our welcome dinner the night before, but my stomach was killing me.  I had trouble sleeping.  I felt horrible tossing and turning in the bed all night and waking up Hubbie at 6:00 AM to complain about my tummy.  He didn’t even hesitate one second as he threw on clothes and shoes and headed out to find me some antacid. It was still dark outside.  He came back 45 minutes later because the only thing open was a grocery store about 20 blocks away.  He gave me a bag of medicine and the only thing he said was how the grocery store was so awesome because it was located in an old railroad station.

He never said one word about losing sleep, not knowing where he was going, nothing.  He was, and still is, the most positive person I know.  This is a huge blessing for me because I tend to overstress and look at the negative side of a situation.  He will prop me back up and show me the other side.

We are partners in life and 10 years later you still make me laugh out loud, Baby.  You are the smartest person I know.  The sexiest thing ever is to watch you read to our two babies.  You are an amazing father. You lift me up when I’m down and you always have my back.  Please know I will always have your back too. I’m excited to continue this life journey with you as we drink red wine and sing the soundtrack to Les Miserables along the way.

Happy Anniversary, Baby.  I lovey you.  Forever.

Annabel’s First Day of School ’11

What happened to my BAAAYBEEE?

This is Annabel heading out to meet her preschool teacher for the first time last Friday.  We had a 10 minute meet-and-greet orientation. Annabel met her teacher as well as all the cool classroom toys.  Then, we left.  Today, we went back.  It was her very first day of school.  Her very FIRST day.

Did I mention that it was her very first day of school?  Like, EVER?  You would not have guessed it.  She was so confident.  She was actually quite giddy.  First, she said goodbye to her big brother.

Then, we got everything together.  Her lunchbox, her backpack, the play-doh we were donating, and the teacher gifts.  (We bought them pink tervis tumblers.)

Her cute backpack is the “chocolate butterfly” version from PBKids.  Annabel picked it out in April and it’s been sitting on a side table for over four months.  She finally got to use it today.  She was VERY excited.  She wore her blue school T-shirt (required), with a jean skirt from Target (I couldn’t resist the white trim), and her brand new sparkly white sneakers from the Stride-Rite outlet. She picked them out all by herself.

We left early and arrived at her preschool SUPER early SO…more photos!

Oh why, yes, that IS a bruise on her beautiful forehead.  It wouldn’t be my kid if there wasn’t some type of head bump present in a major milestone/holiday photograph.

And there she goes.

She hung up her backpack.  She handed in her play-doh.  She gave her teachers the gift bags.  She was wide-eyed and ready to go.

Before I left I said, “Give me a big hug!”  She did.  And then she said, “And a kiss too, Mama.”  I kissed my baby girl and walked out the door.  I stopped and looked back.  She didn’t.

I walked away thinking about how my little BFF was out in the world without me for the first time.  I was only 20 feet away, but I already missed her terribly.

I swear I didn’t cry until I got to my car.

PopKids Report

When I started PopMommy in 2009, I really hoped that I would stick with it. The goal was to write about my life and my kids’ lives and all the crazy pop culture stuff that I love.  It would be my on-line diary.  My memory book.

I did it.  It was hard.  There were days when I could not think of anything to say.  Or I was tired.  There are still days like that, but I’m in it for the long haul.  I thank you for reading and commenting.

My passion for my kids and my love of pop culture has now lead me to the birth of my brand new baby, PopKids Report.  (No more real babies for me.  This new website will keep me plenty busy, thank you very much.)

PopKids Report dishes up all the breaking news on kids movies, DVDs, television shows, music, books, fashion, tech, games, toys, and hot spots.  We’ll tell you all about Justin Bieber’s new album, Disney’s new holiday flick, that new children’s book app, the cool new holiday toy, and much more.

If you have kids, or you are a kid at heart, then please visit me at PopKids Report.  You can also follow us on twitter and “like” us on facebook.  I’m super excited!  I hope to see you there.

Daniel’s First Day of School ’11

“Hi, Mama!  I can’t believe I’m in a big kid school now, Mama!”

“It’s the best school EVER, Mama.”

“And guess what, Mama?  I made TWO new friends today.”

“I love my new school.”

(EXHALE.)

Looking Ahead

Daniel starts school next week and he’ll be repeating Pre-Kindergarten.  It’s something I’ve wanted to write about here because it was an important decision we made and it involved a bunch of research, conversations with teachers and friends, and good faith.  It was actually a pretty EASY decision after everything was laid out in front of us.  The pros far outweighed the cons and, in the end, I really never saw any cons at all.

Daniel’s birthday is August 30th and the school cut off day for Kindergarten (in Florida) is September 1st.  He basically makes the cut by two days.  If he were born September 2nd, he would have to wait until the next year to start. He will turn five on August 30th and he will be allowed to enter Kindergarten, but he would most likely be the very youngest child in the class.  He was the youngest one in his Pre-K class this past year too.  He did great academically and he’s a really smart kid, but Daniel is a little shy and more reserved than the others. There were little skills that required extra help (like holding a pencil), but mostly he just lacked some confidence and maturity.  He was well liked and had a lot of friends, but he would never initiate the group play or be super social. The teachers said he had the intelligence to move on, but the emotional maturity he would gain from an extra year of Pre-K would be priceless.  We agreed.

Right around the time we were making our final decision, my husband was reading Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell.  I highly recommend this book.  It talks a lot about this very subject.  He talked about falling behind in grade school and how it can lead to problems later in life.  And giving your child an extra year will ultimately pay off for them socially, emotionally, and financially. If you hold your child back he will be older, stronger, faster, and more mature than the rest of his or her class. Therefore, they will be better positioned to outperform their peers in academic testing and even athletics. By “holding them back” you are basically stacking the deck in FAVOR of your child’s success.

I’ve also never had one single parent tell me they’ve regretted the decision to have their child repeat a grade.  But I have heard the stories of regret if they decided not to do it.  That helped us too.  I don’t want to decide later to have Daniel repeat an older grade when it’s, for lack of a better word, more noticeable.

Daniel also goes to a brand new school this year.  It’s the ideal situation for him to repeat Pre-K.  I know some parents have wrestled with this decision if it involved repeating the grade at the same school in the same classroom with the same teacher.  I definitely had all the signs pointing positively in the direction of our final decision.  Also, it’s just a lot more common these days.  Back when I was in school, you were only “held back” for negative reasons: poor grades, bad behavior, personal issues, etc.  Now it’s an opportunity to have my kid turn 18 at home, instead of during his first week at college.  He can be one of the first ones to get his driver’s license, instead of the last one.  He’ll have this extra year in Pre-K to grow more confident and create a foundation for his future.  And I’m excited because I know we are giving him the very best gift: The gift of time.

Heaven

When Queen turned 98 years old in May, Daniel asked me how long people live.  Well, he really said, “Mama, what is the longest age?”

“Well, people can live to one hundred.  Or even more than one hundred.”

“Will Queen live to one hundred?”

“She might, Daniel.”

“Then what she do?  What happens after you live the longest age?”

“Then, you go and live in Heaven with God and Jesus.”

Luckily, the conversation stopped there.  We were in the car driving to the store.  He saw an 18 wheeler truck out his passenger window and that was enough to let his 4-year-old brain move on.  I breathed a sigh of relief.

I texted my husband at work to tell him the conversation I just had with Bean.  That was the first time we ever talked about death. And maybe I’m a little late.  I know there are movies and books that talk about death or someone/something getting killed, but it’s always gone right over my kids’ heads.  Or I zoom by it quickly.  I don’t want to sugar coat life or anything.  I just want the innocence to last as long as possible.

I don’t want them to watch Bambi yet, because I don’t want them to see a Mama getting killed.  I always hold my breath a little at the beginning of Cinderella because I don’t want them to ask me what happened to Cinderella’s Mama.  When there is a book that talks about death or dying, I admit that I sometimes skip that part.  For now.

So when Queen passed away last week, I instantly felt the anxiety of what to tell the kids.  This was the first time someone in their life has died.   My sister had to talk to her children about their dog dying last year.  It was tough.  I was nervous about the big conversation.

Hubbie and I decided to wait until our beach vacation was over to tell the kids about Queen.  He was going to the memorial service and funeral this weekend, so we knew we had to tell them by Friday evening.  When we picked up our dog from GG’s house on Friday afternoon, GG told Hubbie to have a safe flight.  We were in the car and we were 5 minutes from our driveway when Daniel said,

“Daddy, where are you going?  Why did GG say to have a safe flight?”

“I’m going to see Pop Pop in North Carolina this weekend.  Because I need to say goodbye to Queen.  She is going to Heaven.”

There it was.  Out in the open.  My stomach knotted and I was waiting for the next question.

“Why she going to Heaven, Daddy?  She’s not one hundred yet.”

“Sometimes you don’t have to be one hundred.  Sometimes a little older and sometimes a little younger.  But Queen was ready to go and live with God and Jesus in Heaven.”

“So you are going there to say ‘bye’ to Queen?”

“Yes.”

And that was it.  Nothing at all from Annabel.  And Daniel was done too.  That was it.  No sadness.  No more questions.  Until yesterday when we were all drawing pictures in the kitchen. Hubbie was already gone.

“Daddy is at Pop Pop’s house but Queen is already in Heaven, Mama?”

“Yes, Daniel.  She’s there.”

“What is she going to do there?  What’s in Heaven?”

“She’s going to live there forever and it’s the happiest, most beautiful place in the world.  And she gets to live there with God and Jesus.”

“Will I go there too?  I want to see God and Jesus.”

“Yes, we all get to go live there.”

“You and me and Daddy and Annabel?  We all get to live there together?”

“Yes. That’s why we go to church and sing and pray to Jesus because we all are excited to live with Him in Heaven one day.”

“Okay.”

And he ran off.  And somehow I realized that I never thought about it quite that way before.  I never said those words out loud. And they sounded nice.  They sounded real nice.

And not scary at all.

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