Last Day of School

 

Daniel’s last day of preschool was one week ago today.  He’s now on “summer break” as we like to tell him.  I’m walking that fine line of letting him be totally relaxed and excited that he doesn’t have to go to school and reminding him that this is just a 3 month break before he has to go back.

You see school has been a little…um…rough.  Like all things with kids, the excitement of preschool took a little U-turn.  After his very first day of preschool, he was thrilled!  That continued for about two months. He LOVED his teacher and the teaching assistant.  He started making friends.  He loved to show me his drawings and glue projects.  He loved music class.  He loved using the school potty (one of my biggest early fears.)

Daniel’s 3 year old preschool program was only two days a week, but after about two months he started to get upset when I dropped him off in the morning.  I had to park and walk him into the small classroom. I liked that.  It gave me the opportunity to see his teacher and watch Bean put his backpack on the wall and sit down.  I felt comfort in leaving him when I knew he was settled.  But it became harder to leave when he would cling to me or cry.

It wasn’t sadness. It was more like a small anxiety attack.  He would ask for water or a tissue and get really upset.  God bless his teacher because she was great at bear hugging him into the classroom and shooing me away.  Then she would always tell me that he was “just fine” five minutes after I left. But STILL. It was HARD.

Bean is my guinea pig.  He’s my first baby.  He’s my first attempt at “crying it out.” My first one to eat the scary solids.  My first one to walk, to talk, to make a friend, to venture out into the big, bad world.  I had no idea what it would be like to send him off to preschool.  It’s been equally rewarding and stressful.

I would always feel better when I picked him up.  He would run to me and hug me and have a huge smile on his face.  It was part glad to see me and part excited to show me a project he did in school that day.   He was doing well.  He was learning new things.  He was happy.

But the morning part never changed.  It would vary in range from small sniffles to those crazy anxiety attacks.  He would worry about the littlest things like if music class was going to be in the BIG room that day or if one of his friends was upset the last time he was in class.  “I hope Madison is not upset today, Mama,” he would tell me.  “Don’t worry about her. She’s fine,” I’d say.  It was a lot of little questions and worry.  But he always went in the room.  He was ALWAYS brave.  “Mama, I was brave today,” he would say when I buckled him into his car seat at the end of the school day. “Yes, Daniel, you are my super brave boy.”

I think I looked forward to the last day of school more than he did.  I was happy to get relief from the anxiety of it all.  The thing is, Daniel is just like me.  I’m a worrier.  I stress.  I over think EVERYTHING. Even as a little girl I would be nervous about the smallest things; especially school things.  Sometimes I feel guilty because I gave Daniel this gene.  But at least I can relate.  Plus, he helps ME.  One example is his first airplane ride.  I was the one who was filled with stress, but I could not let that show so I calmed down.  It’s the same with preschool.  I feel anxiety every time I drop him off, but I learned to smile and sing happy songs all the way to the classroom.   It made ME feel better. (Of course having happy go-lucky little Annabel with us always helped too.  The cute lucky duck got that trait from her Daddy.)

Now, don’t get me wrong.  Daniel made friends.  Daniel did AMAZING in school.  The teacher told me he would speak up and answer questions.  His end of the year “evaluation” was awesome.  He knows his numbers, letters, shapes.  He can write his name.  He can use scissors.  I really have nothing to worry about.  It’s just that he’s my sensitive little boy.  He’s my baby.  He IS a baby.  He was the youngest 3 year old in the class because of his August 30th birthday.  (The cut off for school here is September 1.) His teacher and the Preschool director both think he will do even better next year in the the 4 year old program because of the consistency.

Because it’s EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Okay, I don’t even want to think about THAT right now.  Because school’s out for the summer. YA-HOO.

The Magic Book

I remember when my Dad came home with a Commodore 64 computer.   It was a BIG deal.  It was 1982 and I was 11 years old.  My Dad set it up on a big desk downstairs in our basement.  He taught me some of the BASIC programming. We played tons of cool games on it.  It was exciting.  It was my first baby step into the world of computers and I had no clue where it would lead.

When the Internet popped up, I had just graduated from college.  So I didn’t have the Internet as a major study tool during my college years.  Heck, I didn’t even have a cell phone.  I would take a stack of quarters to the pay phone in our hallway when I wanted to call home.  By my senior year there were computer labs on campus, but I still used the library for my research projects.  We would camp out in study groups and write down information from books and Encyclopedias.  It just seems so arduous compared to today where you can sit with a laptop in your dormroom and Google ”19th century french women poets” or “biology 101 study guide.”

It’s so wild to think that my children will never know a world without cell phones or computers or the Internet.  I try to imagine what THEY will be using as study aids when they are in college.  Will there just be ONE small electronic notebook that is their computer, phone, ID, camera, video camera, calendar, etc.?

The coolest gadget in our house right now is the Apple iPAD.  I bought it for my hubbie for no real reason except that he REALLY wanted it.  And he never really wants anything.  Every birthday and every Father’s Day he gets the same expected polo shirt and spa massage.  He said he would wait a year for the iPad.  He wanted to save up the money.  But I knew I had to buy it for him.  It would ROCK HIS WORLD.

And I was right!

Plus, he shares the whole iPad experience with our kids.  He calls it “The Magic Book.”  Bean and Annabel have read The Cat in the Hat, Winnie the Pooh, and Toy Story on The Magic Book.  They have played PBS Kids games on it.  They have watched videos of themselves.  They have experienced a virtual fishing pond.  

And it’s just the beginning for them.  I guess it’s better to expose them to all this new technology as it happens.  I want them to be computer savvy.  But I still get stomach knots when I think about them on MySpace, or Facebook, or Twitter, or whatever the social marketing outlet will be when they are teenagers. Then there is cyber bullying and “sexting” and identity theft to worry about.

And I’m sure some people out there will think it’s weird (or perhaps wrong) that I write about my children on this website.  It’s a subject that gets talked about A LOT, including here. I do it because I want to remember everything that I experience as a Mom from the exhilarating to the challenging.  I want to remember all the pop culture moments that got me excited, made me laugh, or made me sad.  This website is my personal diary.  It’s part therapy and part virtual scrap book.

I only write down stories and thoughts that I would tell you in person. My husband reads all my entries before I post them.  It’s wonderful for me to share moments with my familiy and relatives who don’t live near me.  I don’t use curse words and that’s my personal decision. 

I write stories about my children so there will be memories for them when they are older.  I don’t write anything that might embarrass them and I never post pictures that might make them uncomfortable in 5 or 10 years.  My goal is to document everything from the major milestones to those tiny moments.  Everything I want to remember. Everything I want to share with my my son and my daughter when they are older.

I want my kiddies to peel through the layers of this website one day so they can learn more about who they were, what they liked, how they changed, how much I loved them.  I want them to learn more about ME and who I was, both as their mom and as a person.  The thought that they can sit down one day with their own kids and read stories that I wrote is something that makes me happy.  It makes me proud. It makes me excited.

I guess, in a way, this mommy blog is MY magic book.  And there are so many more magical chapters to come.

The Last First Birthday

Daniel and I flew to Maryland to celebrate my nephew, and Godson, Luke’s 1st Birthday.  It’s a little sad because it’s our family’s last “First Birthday Party,” unless someone surprises us with a new baby.  (And when I say SOMEONE, I definitely do NOT mean me.)

We had such a great time.  The weather was perfect for an outdoor celebration.  It was super cool to watch all the cousins play in the sandbox, ride big wheels, make sidewalk chalk drawings, blow bubbles, and play football and soccer in my sister’s big backyard.  Even Luke got in on the soccer action with the help of his Daddy. 

Luke is such a wonderful, mellow little guy.  He loves to observe and smile at everyone.  But he is minutes away from walking which I’m sure is making my sister a teeny bit nervous. 

He loved all his birthday toys and he especially loved his giant birthday cake.  He dove right in.  It was hilarious.  It was a wonderful last first birthday party celebration for our family. I was so happy Daniel and I were there to be a part of it all.

We’ve always referred to Luke as “Baby Luke.”  But even Daniel said on the airplane flight home, “Mama, we have to call him Big Boy Luke now.” 

Yes, Bean, I guess we do.

Bean’s First Airplane Trip

 

I desperately did not want to miss my Godson Luke’s 1st birthday celebration in Maryland, so I decided to fly up for the weekend.  His birthday was Friday and the big family party was Saturday afternoon.  I, of course, had to bring a kid with me. I decided to bring Daniel because he would get more out of the trip.  He loves to play with his cousins and, I will admit, I didn’t think I could handle a two year old little girl with “crazy” tendencies. 

I’m not a great flyer.  I have a fear of flying which I try to repress because, well, I want to GO PLACES.  I’ve had some really bad flights where I’ve dug my nails into my husband’s arm and screamed into his ear about how I hated him for making me fly and I swear I will never fly again.  (Sorry, ONCE AGAIN, about that, Baby.)  I get super irrational when I’m high up in the air and I feel like I’m having an anxiety attack.

But the desire to have my kiddies NEVER feel the same way has really helped me.  I have calmed down A LOT and, to be honest, there is NO WAY I can show my fear in front of my son.  He would get too freaked out.  He has flown with me before when he was 6 months old.  It was great because all he did was drink a bottle and sleep.

But I consider this time his first real airplane trip.  When we were heading to the airport on Friday morning, Bean was a little confused, a little nervous, but also excited.  He asked a million questions and he could not wait to see the airplanes.  Every experience was fascinating.  He loved when I got the boarding passes right from the computer check-in screen.  He loved that he could take off his shoes and put them in a bin that zoomed down a giant belt to the other side.  He loved the moving walkways.  He loved the pizza lunch.  He loved looking out the giant windows for our airplane to arrive. 

The trip up would be the big test and he was a champ.  He was a little nervous with all the loud noises during takeoff but I was there to explain everything.  I was so distracted by his questions that I really did forget to be nervous.  I was just enjoying his curiosity.  He loved the drink cart and thought it was super cool that he could order a juice with ice and a straw.  They even welcomed him aboard over the loudspeaker because I was sure to tell every flight attendant that it was his very first flight. I guess I just thought they would take extra special care of us.  I think it was a mental help for me.  It was like I was putting a final push of good vibes into the air.

Bean sat by the window.  He couldn’t see out when his seat belt was on, but when he could move about he would check out the clouds and the big airplane wing.  I had a small backpack filled with lots of books, coloring books, triangle crayons (so they would not roll off the tray.  Special thanks to a Facebook friend who recommended them), stickers, new cars, his favorite stuffed animal, and LOTS of snacks. 

I brought him juicy fruits to chew on in case his ears needed to pop, but it didn’t seem to be a big problem.  The best part was landing in beautiful Washington, DC and looking at all the monuments.  Bean could not believe we were there.  I think he was still processing the whole thing.

On the trip home, he was a PRO.  He was ready for security and he already knew what he wanted for his airport lunch. (A Five Guys cheeseburger. I had NO problem with that.  Ha.)  

He even started chatting with people. The flight home was great except there was a lot more turbulence.  I loved that the pilot actually gave us warnings when we would feel the bumps so I could explain to Bean that we were riding through clouds.  Again, this experience helped ME so much.  I was able to talk him through it and talk ME through it too.  When we landed, the pilot (who was informed by the flight attendant that this was Bean’s first time flying) invited us up front to sit in the cockpit so I could get a photo.

I could not ask for a better memento from the experience.

 PS: Please note tattered seat in cockpit photo.  I think that’s equally funny and disturbing.

PPS: On a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOTE, this is the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of PopMommy.com!  I just can’t believe it.  Thank you to all my family and friends who read this website and a very special thank you to those visitors who I don’t know.  It means a whole lot to me that you join me here.  I’ve had a blast documenting my PopMommy life and I’m excited to continue doing it.

A “2″ and a “3″

I always wanted two children.  And I knew they would be close in age.  My husband and I were married for five years before we had Daniel. It was the perfect timing for us.  We enjoyed late night dinners, Sunday afternoon movie dates, and tons of LEISURELY activities before our lives were turned upside down, I mean BLESSED, with two amazing kiddies.

YES, we know we are TRULY blessed.

Annabel was born 17.5 months after Daniel.  So that makes our kids 17.5 months apart.  I usually just say 18 months apart when people ask, because they DO ask.  My kids look like twins sometimes.  They act like twins sometimes.  It’s been an interesting dynamic.

I didn’t really think about the age difference as being that important until the past month or so.  I now believe my kiddies are at their PEAK of CRAZINESS.  And I say that endearingly.  I really do.  They are so much fun and they make me laugh out loud with the things they do, say, and ask on a daily basis.  But, MAN, I have to be honest and say that some days are REALLY HARD.  The worst part is that they switch their Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde roles daily.

We went to Disney on Ice on Saturday afternoon and I was so surprised when Daniel started WHINING and asking to go home.  He’s usually not a whiner. But he was just in that mood.  When we told him we were going to stay and it was going to be SO MUCH FUN, he just wanted a lemonade.  Then, a popcorn.  Then, cotton candy.  Then, MORE lemonade.  Then, he had to go the bathroom.  Then, he wanted to go home…again. 

Annabel, on the other hand, had the most amazing time.  She sat on my lap, completely wide eyed, enjoying the entire experience.  She danced and clapped and waved to Mickey and Minnie and all the Disney Princesses.   

When we got home, Daniel continued to whine about the grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner.  He would not eat it.  Then, he decided he would eat.  But ONLY the soup. Then, he didn’t want a bath.  Then, he cried when he couldn’t watch TV.  It just kept going on and on and on.  Annabel was just fine throughout Daniel’s mood swings but she also tends to ignore Daniel when he acts this way.

Well, today was Annabel’s turn!  She woke up smiling and happy, but after that, I could not do one thing right.  She did not want her banana for breakfast.  No, wait, she does want it!  Then, no, no, she doesn’t.  Then, she wanted more milk.  Then, NO, NO MILK!   Daniel was laughing at her and that was not helping the situation.  Then, after breakfast, she was playing with Lego’s when all of a sudden she just laid down on the floor and started to scream and cry.  I have learned not to approach her when she does this because it just makes everything worse.  OH, YES IT DOES.  After two minutes, she stood up, ran to her bedroom, grabbed a bunch of stuffed animals, threw them on the floor, fell on them, and cried some more.  Daniel was hysterical with laughter. 

I told him that was “not nice” so we went to color at the kitchen table.  Five minutes later, here comes Annabel, running out of her room with a big smile on her face, her curls bouncing while she says, “HI MAMA! HI DANIEL!” with such JOY!  It was adorable.  And weird.  And I really wanted to get off the emotional roller coaster already.

But that’s what it’s like in my world with a 2 year old going through the stereotypical “terrible” stage and a 3 year old who wants to exert his independence and give his opinion.   I read other Mommy Blogs on a daily basis and many Moms say that these “terrible twos” get worse when your child turns THREE.  Well, I have BOTH right now, thank you very much.

 Here’s what Tori Spelling tweeted this morning:

EXACTLY. It’s SO nice to know I’m not alone in this mind blowing world of parenting.  And that’s why I blog.  And read blogs.  And twitter. And communicate.  Because I want to know I’m not alone.

Especially when I’m dealing with some seriously cute little CRAZIES.

Let’s Potty!

I’m so proud of my little man right now I could BURST.  They say it only takes ONE DAY to potty train, you just have to pick the right day.  And when I say “they,” I mean the pediatrician and the parenting expert who wrote this amazing parenting book Toddler 411.  It is my toddler bible.  Baby 411 is my baby bible.   I love both books so much because they are simple and to the point. They cover every topic from breastfeeding and milestones to medical issues and potty training. 

Well, we definitely picked the right day to potty train.  It’s been two weeks since we started and, as of right now,  Bean’s bathroom potty chart looks like this:

So far it’s been an unbelievably easy and seamless transition. (KNOCK ON WOOD.)  I’m one proud (super lucky, super blessed, and, hopefully, NOT jinxed) Mama.

Happy 35th Birthday Baby!

My hubbie is 35 years old young today! 

He is truly the best husband a woman could ever ask for.  He is an amazing Daddy. He is also the person I want sitting next to me on that porch swing 35 years from now.  He is my best friend, my soul mate, and my partner in crime.  Happy Birthday Baby!  You rock! 

(And thank you for telling me the birthday cake I made was DELICIOUS, even though your face says otherwise. )

 

And, YES, that is a brand new Lacoste polo shirt I bought him for his birthday.  Special shout out to Jeff Lewis from Bravo TV’s Flipping Out. Every time we watch the show together, hubbie says, “I want to look like Jeff Lewis! I want that shirt!” So, there you go.  I think I just outed my husband for wanting to look like Jeff Lewis.

20 months

Annabel is 20 months old today.  We’ve been calling her “Tummy Girl” because of this book we checked out of the library.  It really describes her perfectly.  She is a tummy full of smiles and laughter.  She is a social butterfly who loves to run up to another child playing in the park.  She is going to force me to break out of my introverted shell and and I love that about her.  She overflows with curiosity and excitement for life.  She gets frustrated, but it doesn’t last long.  She’ll feel better once she is picked up, hugged, and cuddled.  I can’t wait until she can really talk and express her feelings.  Right now she loves to say “No!”  (Even when she means “Yes!”) It’s the cutest, sweetest, high-pitched “No.”  Even her “No’s” are happy.   We love you “Tummy Girl.”

Pink Umbrella

Bean loves to play with my little pink umbrella when it’s raining outside.  And it rains A LOT here. 

But the amazing thing about this little pink umbrella….

… is that it was with me during a summer vacation in Venice, Italy.  That was when my little Bean was still just a *twinkle* in my eye.

Where does the time go?

Mama’s Boy

Daniel has turned into a full on ”Mama’s Boy.”  I love it.  I’m frustrated by it. It’s definitely making me a little…crazy.

I love to oblige all his requests for hugs and pick-me-ups. He’s an awesome snuggler.  He always wants to be by my side and go where I go. I really can’t resist it when he says “I want Maaamaaa” in that little baby voice.  It’s super cute and I love to feel needed, to feel WANTED. He’s the most awesome kid ever.

But all this wonderful, over-the-top Mama Love is starting to morph into something else.  The new form is called the I DON’T EVER WANT TO BE AWAY FROM MAMA…EVER! form. DO YOU HEAR ME??  NEVER EVER!!  MAMA, DON’T LEAVE ME OR I WILL SCREAM LIKE YOU HAVE JUST DROPPED ME OFF ON THE STREET CORNER TO FEND FOR MYSELF.  I WILL CLAW AND GRAB YOU AND WEIGH YOU DOWN UNTIL YOU DIE FROM EMBARRASSMENT OR FROM BEING CRUSHED BY MY LOVE FOR YOU.

I exaggerate.  A little.

I decided to enroll Bean in the Gymboree Sports class for preschoolers.  It’s for 3 to 5 year olds and since he JUST turned 3, he is one of the younger kids enrolled in the class.  I had explained the class to him for weeks, always reminding him that it was a drop-off class and Mama would not stay in the room.  I would be waiting right outside the door and when he was done with the class we would hug and go and get chocolate milk.  I thought this would work.  He seemed fine with it all.  He really did.  He actually seemed EXCITED.

On the first day of class I introduced him to the teacher and he waltzed right in and sat on the mat.  Then the teacher closed the door.  It was fine for about 20 minutes.  Then I heard him crying.  Ugh.  My husband who was with me at the time peeked in the window and saw Bean holding the teacher’s hand and wailing.  Then Bean saw my husband and that was it.  He ran to the door and screamed to get out.  THEN, he saw me.  He climbed up on me and grabbed me so tight.  He refused go back in the classroom. I think he just panicked when he finally realized he was in that room without a parent.  Without his Mama.

I tried again the next week and this time Bean would not even go in the room.  He cried and screamed every time I tried to walk him through the doorway.  The awesome teachers kept trying to help me out but Bean just wanted “Mama.”  He wanted “Mama” and he wanted to go home.

I spoke to another Mom who has a son in the same class.  She told me it took about 5-6 weeks before her son would go in the class without screaming and crying.    YIKES.  That is a long time to go through all this.  She said I just have to keep coming and trying and finally one day it will just click and he will go in.  The Gymboree teachers said the exact same thing.  I get it, I do, but it just seems like a long, frustrating road to take. 

I know ALL MOMS go through this.  Whether it’s the first time you take your child to daycare, a new class, or a new school.  I just never thought of the NEGATIVES of being a stay-at-home-mom.  I think one negative is that I’m creating a child who is super attached to me.  And maybe I’m making it HARDER for him to be socialized and comfortable in a setting where I’m not there.

I guess I’m being a little dramatic.  This too shall pass. Just like EVERY OTHER WORRY I had about my son.  When will he sleep through the night? When will he give up the bottle? When will he walk?  When will he talk? 

When will he go into the world and not look back or want me there?

WOW. 

Maybe I should just hold onto my amazing baby boy a little longer and not worry so much.

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