Daniel’s First Day of School ’11

“Hi, Mama!  I can’t believe I’m in a big kid school now, Mama!”

“It’s the best school EVER, Mama.”

“And guess what, Mama?  I made TWO new friends today.”

“I love my new school.”

(EXHALE.)

Looking Ahead

Daniel starts school next week and he’ll be repeating Pre-Kindergarten.  It’s something I’ve wanted to write about here because it was an important decision we made and it involved a bunch of research, conversations with teachers and friends, and good faith.  It was actually a pretty EASY decision after everything was laid out in front of us.  The pros far outweighed the cons and, in the end, I really never saw any cons at all.

Daniel’s birthday is August 30th and the school cut off day for Kindergarten (in Florida) is September 1st.  He basically makes the cut by two days.  If he were born September 2nd, he would have to wait until the next year to start. He will turn five on August 30th and he will be allowed to enter Kindergarten, but he would most likely be the very youngest child in the class.  He was the youngest one in his Pre-K class this past year too.  He did great academically and he’s a really smart kid, but Daniel is a little shy and more reserved than the others. There were little skills that required extra help (like holding a pencil), but mostly he just lacked some confidence and maturity.  He was well liked and had a lot of friends, but he would never initiate the group play or be super social. The teachers said he had the intelligence to move on, but the emotional maturity he would gain from an extra year of Pre-K would be priceless.  We agreed.

Right around the time we were making our final decision, my husband was reading Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell.  I highly recommend this book.  It talks a lot about this very subject.  He talked about falling behind in grade school and how it can lead to problems later in life.  And giving your child an extra year will ultimately pay off for them socially, emotionally, and financially. If you hold your child back he will be older, stronger, faster, and more mature than the rest of his or her class. Therefore, they will be better positioned to outperform their peers in academic testing and even athletics. By “holding them back” you are basically stacking the deck in FAVOR of your child’s success.

I’ve also never had one single parent tell me they’ve regretted the decision to have their child repeat a grade.  But I have heard the stories of regret if they decided not to do it.  That helped us too.  I don’t want to decide later to have Daniel repeat an older grade when it’s, for lack of a better word, more noticeable.

Daniel also goes to a brand new school this year.  It’s the ideal situation for him to repeat Pre-K.  I know some parents have wrestled with this decision if it involved repeating the grade at the same school in the same classroom with the same teacher.  I definitely had all the signs pointing positively in the direction of our final decision.  Also, it’s just a lot more common these days.  Back when I was in school, you were only “held back” for negative reasons: poor grades, bad behavior, personal issues, etc.  Now it’s an opportunity to have my kid turn 18 at home, instead of during his first week at college.  He can be one of the first ones to get his driver’s license, instead of the last one.  He’ll have this extra year in Pre-K to grow more confident and create a foundation for his future.  And I’m excited because I know we are giving him the very best gift: The gift of time.

Heaven

When Queen turned 98 years old in May, Daniel asked me how long people live.  Well, he really said, “Mama, what is the longest age?”

“Well, people can live to one hundred.  Or even more than one hundred.”

“Will Queen live to one hundred?”

“She might, Daniel.”

“Then what she do?  What happens after you live the longest age?”

“Then, you go and live in Heaven with God and Jesus.”

Luckily, the conversation stopped there.  We were in the car driving to the store.  He saw an 18 wheeler truck out his passenger window and that was enough to let his 4-year-old brain move on.  I breathed a sigh of relief.

I texted my husband at work to tell him the conversation I just had with Bean.  That was the first time we ever talked about death. And maybe I’m a little late.  I know there are movies and books that talk about death or someone/something getting killed, but it’s always gone right over my kids’ heads.  Or I zoom by it quickly.  I don’t want to sugar coat life or anything.  I just want the innocence to last as long as possible.

I don’t want them to watch Bambi yet, because I don’t want them to see a Mama getting killed.  I always hold my breath a little at the beginning of Cinderella because I don’t want them to ask me what happened to Cinderella’s Mama.  When there is a book that talks about death or dying, I admit that I sometimes skip that part.  For now.

So when Queen passed away last week, I instantly felt the anxiety of what to tell the kids.  This was the first time someone in their life has died.   My sister had to talk to her children about their dog dying last year.  It was tough.  I was nervous about the big conversation.

Hubbie and I decided to wait until our beach vacation was over to tell the kids about Queen.  He was going to the memorial service and funeral this weekend, so we knew we had to tell them by Friday evening.  When we picked up our dog from GG’s house on Friday afternoon, GG told Hubbie to have a safe flight.  We were in the car and we were 5 minutes from our driveway when Daniel said,

“Daddy, where are you going?  Why did GG say to have a safe flight?”

“I’m going to see Pop Pop in North Carolina this weekend.  Because I need to say goodbye to Queen.  She is going to Heaven.”

There it was.  Out in the open.  My stomach knotted and I was waiting for the next question.

“Why she going to Heaven, Daddy?  She’s not one hundred yet.”

“Sometimes you don’t have to be one hundred.  Sometimes a little older and sometimes a little younger.  But Queen was ready to go and live with God and Jesus in Heaven.”

“So you are going there to say ‘bye’ to Queen?”

“Yes.”

And that was it.  Nothing at all from Annabel.  And Daniel was done too.  That was it.  No sadness.  No more questions.  Until yesterday when we were all drawing pictures in the kitchen. Hubbie was already gone.

“Daddy is at Pop Pop’s house but Queen is already in Heaven, Mama?”

“Yes, Daniel.  She’s there.”

“What is she going to do there?  What’s in Heaven?”

“She’s going to live there forever and it’s the happiest, most beautiful place in the world.  And she gets to live there with God and Jesus.”

“Will I go there too?  I want to see God and Jesus.”

“Yes, we all get to go live there.”

“You and me and Daddy and Annabel?  We all get to live there together?”

“Yes. That’s why we go to church and sing and pray to Jesus because we all are excited to live with Him in Heaven one day.”

“Okay.”

And he ran off.  And somehow I realized that I never thought about it quite that way before.  I never said those words out loud. And they sounded nice.  They sounded real nice.

And not scary at all.

Annabel’s First Bike

We got Miss Independent her very first bicycle this week.  She loves it.  This is the first time she is peddling by herself.  She never liked the tricycle she had and that was a bummer.  She would just sit there and want us to do all the work for her.  Daniel, on the other hand, loves to ride his bike every day after dinner.  Hubbie and I really want to get some bikes again too.   I have visions of our little bike riding family cruising around the neighborhood. (And maybe even the beach!)  So I was really excited when Annabel jumped on this pink princess bike and pedaled away.

Our after dinner bike rides are so much more fun now.

Queen

I first met Ms. Earline Heath King when I was dating my husband back in 1998.  She was the best friend and life companion of my husband’s father.  So when we married in 2001, she was at the wedding.  And I know she was never technically my mother-in-law, but she always felt like one.  She passed away in her sleep yesterday.  She was 98 years old.

Earline, or “Queen” as we called her, was an extraordinary woman.  I was able to learn more about her life adventures during each family visit.  And she had such a big life.  She met a president.  She lived in Europe.  She earned an honorary doctorate degree.  She began to sculpt for the first time when she was 40 years old. But not only was sculpting her hobby, it became her life’s work and passion.  She had over 300 pieces commissioned including several popular public sculptures.  She was an icon in her small hometown of Winston-Salem, NC, a place she lived her entire life.

She was also a fun and glamorous lady.  She dressed impeccably and matched everything with beautiful costume jewelry.  She told funny stories and she loved a good martini.

My kids loved calling her Queen.  She was the sweetest lady and the name suited her well.

We will miss you, Queen.

 

Miss Independent

I enrolled Annabel in an art class this summer.  It was every day for one week from 1:45 PM to 3:00 PM.  The class was called “Clay for Tiny Hands” and I just kept thinking about that “tiny” part.

Annabel is my baby and I’m already freaked out about her starting preschool in the Fall.  She just seems too, well, tiny.  She’s only three years old.  To ease my fears about her starting school where she will be dropped off and left for the first time EVER, I decided the art class would be a good warm up. (Also because my son had a bit of separation anxiety when I first dropped him off alone.  I didn’t know whether that was personality driven or the fact that I’m a stay-at-home mom and they are with me all the time.)

Well, Annabel LOVED her clay class.  She also had no problem with me leaving her there for the full 75 minutes. She’s a thinker, like her brother, so I could see the thoughts whirling around in her head when she entered the studio for the first time.  She looked excited and overwhelmed and observant all at the same time.  But mostly, she looked confident.

It’s just so cool to learn something new about your kid.  It happens a lot at this age.  Every new opportunity is another opportunity for me to uncover another piece of the puzzle that makes up my daughter.

It may have been “Clay for Tiny Hands” but she really isn’t tiny anymore.  She is my big girl. My big girl who makes friends and asks a millions questions and walks into art class all by herself.  I’m a little sad and my heart is bursting.  But mostly, I’m just so proud.

Daniel’s First Movie: “Cars 2″

We took Daniel to his very first movie yesterday, Cars 2.  We waited until he was 4 years old because we wanted it to be a memorable first experience.  Something we ALL would remember.  Daniel LOVES the Disney movie Cars, so it worked out perfectly that his first movie in the theatre was Cars 2!

Okay, TECHNICALLY Daniel was at a movie theatre once before.  When he was 3 months old, I took him to see some really bad PG-13 movie and I don’t even remember the title.  It was part of a “Moms Morning Out” event.  They kept the theatre lights up the entire time so you could feed or play with your baby while you watched the movie.  But I was a first time Mama and I stressed out every time he cried.  So we left.  But I did manage to snap a photo of his first time at the movies.

This time went MUCH better.  There was no crying involved.  Just my cute little boy in his brand new Cars T-shirt with an excited smile on his face.  Daniel was in awe of the “ginormous” theatre.  We got our tickets from the Fandango machine and he walked right up and handed his ticket to the ticket taker. He loved all the movie posters and he loved that it had an arcade.  We let him play a racing game and then it was off to buy popcorn, candy, and lemonade.  Daniel got some kind of kiddie fruity Twizzler thingy, but then he snagged my Junior Mints after trying just one.  He now LOVES Junior Mints.  He has good concession stand taste.

I laugh at that photo of me with my purse and my big black tote bag.  I always bring a bag of sweaters and pashmina scarves with me to the movies so I can save seats. Plus, I’m always cold.  Bean actually wore his sweater and half way through he used my pashmina as a mini blanket.  It was a long movie. (It was just under two hours.) He enjoyed watching the cars on the big screen, but the movie left a lot to be desired.  We spent most of the time whispering to Daniel about what was going on because there was a complicated spy plot weaved in with oil companies versus environmentalists or something like that.  There was also a lot of shooting and killing (!) cars.  It was a let down. My husband explains it all much better and you can read his review of the movie here.

Daniel said his favorite parts of the movie were the boats, planes, and the London double-decker buses.  He didn’t mention any of the cars, which is so funny.  But we had a great time.  We had a new memory and a Junior Mint-stained little boy to take home.

Swimmingly

Daniel and Annabel are enrolled in summer swimming lessons and it’s been great.  They go twice a week for 8 sessions. This is the first year they have done a group lesson.  Daniel started the ISR (Infant Survival Classes) when he was only 18 months old. There was a lot of screaming and crying involved, but he did learn to float and swim to safety.  It was pretty amazing.

Annabel never “took” to the ISR lessons which really means I didn’t finish the entire program with her.  Daniel did a refresher course for a few weeks last summer, and since I had them both with me all day long, I just stopped her beginner lessons when Daniel stopped his refresher lessons.  She really should have completed the entire thing.  Bad Mama.

This year I decided on group lessons because I want them both to learn to SWIM. I want them to learn the strokes and the kicks and the breathing. I also still have the issue of keeping them together and finding a place to teach both their skill levels at the same time. (Believe me, I know ISR is an AMAZING course and I still would highly recommend it to anyone with younger kids.)

The group lessons take place in an indoor pool so there is no worry of weather issues and I don’t have to slather on sunscreen. First there was a rocky start with Annabel. She has diva moments when she gets pouty and grumpy.  (We are also in the stage of “nap” versus “no nap.”  And when “no nap” wins, she’s a bit of a mess at the pool. Sorry, patient swim teacher.)  But she is now starting to kick her legs and blow bubbles and float like a champ.  Daniel is swimming to the teacher and swimming back to the wall all by himself.  He is starting to learn some basic strokes and if we do another session this summer, I can see him really excelling.  He loves it so much that he smiles the entire lesson.  It’s a joy to see.

Plus, they have really cool bathing suits.  Thanks, Grandma.

Daniel’s Last Day of Preschool

Daniel’s final days of preschool were jam packed with activities.  Besides the graduation ceremony, there was an alphabet party, a water fun day, and an end of year party with the parents.  For the alphabet party, all the kids had to pick a letter.  They had to bring in a food item to share that started with that letter AND they had to come in costume as something starting with that letter. Daniel was a Fireman with a Fruit Salad.

The end of the year party was bittersweet.  It was so nice to see all the kids play together.  It was a “Summer Luau” theme with lots of games and crafts and sweet treats. Daniel was the final line leader – a job he loved so much.  The class really bonded and Daniel had some really awesome teachers.  I was blessed.  WE were blessed.

The VERY last day of school was hard. For me. Daniel was not phased.  He rolled up to that school like it was any other day, except he had some thank you cards for his teachers in his hand.  He had a great year, but he was ready to move on to summer adventures, to a new school.  I don’t even want to THINK about Annabel starting preschool in the Fall.  It all goes so fast.

Daniel’s Pre-K Graduation

It’s been a big week of milestones for our family.  Today, Daniel had his Pre-K graduation ceremony at school.  It was beyond cute.  First, all the kids performed some summer songs on the big stage.  The songs included the very popular “Florida Alphabet” and “If All of the Raindrops” – my personal favorite.  Daniel even wore a cap (no gown) for the graduation part.  He walked across the stage to greet his teacher, Ms. Michelle.  She gave him a bible and a graduation certificate.  He was so proud. We had to wade through the sea of parent paparazzi to get our video and photos.

We gave Daniel some new Richard Scarry books as a congratulations.  He was so excited.  My boy loves books.  And he loves Richard Scarry books.

We all went out for a family lunch at Chili’s.  It was Daniel’s pick.  Because they have the crazy blue blast drink there, of course.

Congrats to my super silly, super smart, super awesome little man.  I love you oh so much.

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