Stuff Girls Say

Listen, listen, listen, listen…these videos are so funny.  I’m sure you’ve seen them already, but feel free to watch them again.

Because they are SO funny.  And (unfortunately?) SO true.

(Is that a coffee? I might get one.)

Sugar and Spice and Smarts

I’m a girly girl.  I’ve talked about it here before.  My daughter is “girly” like me.  She has a pink room with ballerina pictures on the wall and Hello Kitty bed sheets.  She loves the princess movies.  She has a dollhouse.  She likes to dress up and put feathers in her hair.

But she also wants to be an animal doctor.  She has a book about being President of the United States.  She plays with trucks.  She likes to build Lego towers.  We like to do puzzles and play Memory together.  She loves art and clay projects.

I believe a balance is fine.  Annabel can put on her Cinderella dress with sparkly jewelry and play with pretend make-up.  She will also help her brother set up the GeoTrax train set.  We will read Fancy Nancy, but then we’ll practice the rhymes in Dr. Seuss’ Hop on Pop.  We sing the Alphabet song as much as we sing Taylor Swift songs.

Speaking of Taylor Swift, Huffington Post writer Andrea Lampros wrote a piece telling moms NOT to take their daughters to see Taylor Swift in concert.  She wrote about her dismay when she saw CoverGirl stands encouraging young concert-goers to get makeovers and try on lipsticks and eye shadows. (Taylor is a CoverGirl and CoverGirl was her concert sponsor.) Lampros did not like the message it sent to girls: You’re “not really beautiful until you cake your tiny, pre-pubescent face with makeup.”

I probably would let Annabel try on a little lip gloss and then we’d be on our way.  You don’t have to go to extremes.  I’m sure lots of high school girls wearing make-up are also honor roll students who have high self-esteem.  If they don’t, is that Taylor Swift’s fault?  I happen to think Taylor Swift is an amazing role model who is not only a successful pop star, but a talented singer-songwriter, musician, and philanthropist.

I do agree that young girls get targeted a lot more than young boys when it comes to product marketing and mixed messages. For example, this shirt was recently pulled from the JCPenney stores.  Can you guess why?

It was a back-to-school shirt for girls sizes 7-16.  Many bloggers made a stink about the message.  Why do you have to be pretty OR smart?  Why can’t you be both?  Are they saying it’s BETTER to be pretty? And check out that tag line: Who has time for homework when there’s a new Justin Bieber album out?  ”Like, Oh Em Gee! I can’t do my multiplication tables when I’m listening to ‘U Smile!’” Gimme a break.  (It also reminded me of THIS shirt that I wrote about two years ago.)

I don’t think we can avoid messages like this aimed at our young girls.  Parents just have to be in charge. I need to be a strong role model for my daughter. I need to know what’s she’s buying and what she’s reading.  I need to chaperone her concerts and her sleepovers.  I will make sure she does her homework.  I’ll encourage her to run for student government. I will take her to museums. She’ll volunteer.

But I will let her be “girly.”  I will show her how to shave her legs and put on eyeliner.  I will take her to get her ears pierced and I’m excited for our first mani/pedi together.  We’ll have long talks about her dreams, her future, and what’s most important in life.

Over tea, of course.

Holding On Tight

It’s been a weird couple of weeks in terms of my parenting. I’ve been having these two extremes.   I either lose it completely or I become submissive and give in.  I don’t know if it’s because of the kiddies’ ages right now or my tolerance level is just completely depleted or WHAT?

We have a really gorgeous Pottery Barn Kids kitchen set that we received from “Santa” last Christmas.  It’s really cool looking and it goes well with the rest of the living room and kitchen decor.  Maybe that sounds a little snotty, but I feel if I’m going to put a giant “toy” (basically) in my living space, it needs to be something I like.

The kiddies have been going crazy with that play kitchen lately.  Not pretend cooking and serving but THROWING EVERYTHING.  I don’t mind a mess when it’s associated with fun play, but it really bugs me when it’s just picking up a toy pan or plastic pea pod and chucking it across the floor.  Or banging silver pots and pans agains the wood kitchen until one of the handles actually flies off.

I found myself  SCREAMING (ugh, I know) at them to clean it up and then that changed into asking them, or rather PLEADING with them, to tell my WHY?!  WHY would you do this?!   WHY are you just throwing things?!  You have to just turn around and clean it right up and there is nothing fun about that, so WHY?  WHY?!!  And I just kept talking and yelling and then I had to leave the room because, well, I just didn’t know what to do with all that…yuck.

I always took pride in the fact that I was not a screaming parent.  We have discipline books we follow and methods that generally work.  So the fact that I screamed like that really eats away at me.  I apologized to them afterwards, but it feels like it’s too late to take it back.  I once read that when you scream at your child it takes a way a small piece of their childhood.  I don’t know who said that but, yeah, that stings.

Then there are the other times when I shut down or I bargain.  Today at our Christmas card photo shoot, Annabel had a break down.  And all I could do was sit there and offer to buy her a toy or ice cream or ANYTHING if she would just SIT STILL.  For ONE SECOND.  What do you want?!  I’ll buy you ANYTHING you want!  (Did I really say that?)  Well, it didn’t work and then I had no energy left.  My nerves were shot.  I ordered a Christmas card with the one salvageable photo in the bunch.  Actually that one salvageable photo was really great.  But I didn’t see the silver lining.  I just left feeling defeated.

It’s hard being a parent.  It’s really hard.  There is so much to juggle and organize and anticipate that sometimes I don’t feel prepared or emotionally equipped.  There are days I feel like I’m running around in circles and get nothing done besides sending the kids to time out and cleaning up messes.

But there is so much good.  SO much.  So much laughter. So much adventure.  So much fun.  SO much love.   I just hate that some days my frustration overshadows that.    Because I really do have two of the super coolest kids in the whole world.

This parenting thing.  It really is a roller coaster ride.

The Year of Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift was named Entertainer of the Year at the Country Music Awards last week and that pretty much said it all.  She truly is the Entertainer of the Year. 

She is the face of country music. She is the face of pop music.  Best of all, she is the face of teen celebrity and that is a sigh of relief for many moms of young girls right now.  She is a great role model.   She is a talented artist who writes her own music, plays the guitar, and sings.  (She doesn’t just dance and lip sync around the stage in tight clothes.) She twitters and really appreciates her young fans.   She likes her parents and has a great relationship with her mom who is always with her at press events and appearances.  She is not drinking underage or hanging out all night at dance clubs.  She  also showed us that she has a wicked sense of humor with this fun opening monologue on Saturday Night Live.

I opened the mailbox today to find her staring at me (in 3-D!) as the cover girl on InStyle Magazine.  She looks gorgeous and glamorous and, might I add, age appropriate.  I especially love that she is super tall (5’11″) and has curly hair (“I love it when girls rock curly hair!” she says in InStyle)  just like my baby girl Annabel.  The article confirms again that she doesn’t drink or smoke and that her answers to questions “come out in long, perfectly formed sentences mostly free of ‘ums,’ ‘likes,’ or slang.”  I pray she understands how important it is to be a great role model.  I hope she remains untainted by all her fame and fortune.

Taylor will also make an appearance in the new romantic comedy “Valentine’s Day” which opens nationwide February 12th. It’s from the director of “Pretty Woman” and stars a megawatt cast of A-listers including Julia Roberts, Patrick Dempsey, Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Anne Hathaway, Ashton Kutcher, Jessica Alba, and Jessica Biel.  But the only buzz I’ve read about this movie so far is that Taylor Swift kisses that boy from the “Twilight” movie. (!) 

This truly is the Year of Taylor Swift.,

Girl Power

I’m adding this to my list of reasons why raising a daughter to have great self esteem and great body image in today’s society is SO important.

This toddler girl T-shirt was featured on the front page of ParentDish today:

The creator of this tot nipple tassel T-shirt is trying to be “ironic.”  But are people actually buying these shirts for their little girls because they think it’s cute or funny? There are so many young girls who try to dress ”sexy” because they think it’s “cool” or because they want to look like one of their pop idols. (Yes, I’m looking at you pole dancing Miley Cyrus).

So do we really need to start this madness at 2 years old?  Why even throw something like this T-shirt out into the world even if you are just trying to prove a point about society?  Most people probably won’t get it.

On a positive note, back in 2005, this T-shirt was pulled from the shelves of popular teen retailer Abercrombie & Fitch after a group of teen girls organized a boycott against them.

Thank goodness, right? There were a bunch of other really offensive versions as well. 

And don’t even get me started about the terrifying reality show, Toddlers & Tiaras.  I caught a few minutes of it on TLC the other day and was horrified by the parade of  innocent little girls on display.  They were flaunting big hair weaves, fake nails, fake eyelashes, tons of spray tan, adult makeup, and expensive designer dresses.  They also wore bikinis! These toddler girls are basically being taught that being pretty, smiley, and polite will get you money and a sparkly crown.  It really is disturbing.  I heart you, TLC, but this show has GOT TO GO. 

Then, there is Tyra Banks.  She has always created publicity for her talk show by doing something extreme which also seems to promote a healthy self image message to teen girls.   A couple years ago, Tyra started a “So What?” campaign to empower young girls.  During one show, her entire audience of young women, and Tyra included, wore red bathing suits with their weight printed on their chests.  For this year’s The Tyra Banks Show season premiere on September 8th, Tyra is going to reveal to the world her natural hair by taking out her weave on national television. She wants to encourage women to “own and rock what they’ve got and be proud.” Crazy publicity stunt?  Sure.  But if her target audience of teen girls gets the message that being strong, fearless, and comfortable in your own skin is important, then props to her.

We need more of that.