Today was Pajama Day at Daniel’s school.

All the Pre-K’ers could wear their pajamas to class and there was a special story time with the Principal.  The morning snack was a special treat: Donut holes and juice boxes!  Daniel was on cloud nine!  When we walked into the classroom this morning, we admired some of the other pajama choices. As I gave Daniel a hug goodbye, I saw a little girl wander in behind him wearing her school uniform.

“Uh oh,” I thought.  ”Someone’s parent forgot it was Pajama Day.”

Now, I’m not judging them.  It could happen to anyone.  It could happen to ME.  That is always my small fear. That I forget it’s Pajama Day and Daniel or Annabel give me that sad, disappointed face like I’m the worst Mama in the world.  Or I forget the snack. Or I forget that it’s show-and-tell! So that made me think, I need to create some sort of ‘School Emergency Kit” for the trunk of my car.  I drop my children off at private school every day so this could work well for me.   (I basically live in my car.)

My “School Emergency Kit” would contain:

-  A pair of pajamas (see above.)

- A set of “street clothes” in the school colors for “Non-Uniform” days.

- An extra school uniform (if I think Pajama Day/Non-Uniform Day is on the WRONG day. Whoops!)

- An extra snack.  This should be something that won’t spoil (ie: raisins, fruit chews, something with a long shelf life.) Gross? Maybe.  Smart? YES.

- Some item that has every letter of the alphabet for the show-and-tell days.  This can be an alphabet puzzle or a baggie of alphabet magnets so, if stuck in a pinch, my kid can AT LEAST show an “A” puzzle piece or an “A” magnet.  Again, not ideal, but fulfilling the need.  Note:  The alphabet items should also be a variety of colors so they can also be used for the “bring in something X color” days.

- Check book.  This should probably be in my purse, not a kit in the back of the car, but I can’t tell you how many times I needed a check  for some school photo order or fundraiser and I curse that darn check book sitting in the front drawer of my desk at home.

- Cash. Because then there are the days when the student government or the safety patrols sell sweet treats in the school lobby and I’ve had to say “No” to my kid because I didn’t have a dollar bill on me.

- 4×6 photos of every member of the family including grandparents.  You know what I’m talking about.

- A generic gift in a small gift bag.  Perhaps a picture frame or coffee mug.  This would be for when I forget it’s the teacher’s/teacher’s assistant’s/front desk receptionist’s/etc. birthday (Do people really have these dates on their calendar?)

- A couple of books for when I forget I’m the class “secret reader.”  Note: This could also work for show-and-tell and those “bring a book to share” days.

- A new toy.  This is for the “bring a toy to share” days.  But this can also work if there’s something I forgot that’s not in the kit and I can bribe my child to forgive me with the new toy.  Win-win!

What would be in YOUR kit?  I’m SURE I’m forgetting SOMETHING.

What happened to my BAAAYBEEE?

This is Annabel heading out to meet her preschool teacher for the first time last Friday.  We had a 10 minute meet-and-greet orientation. Annabel met her teacher as well as all the cool classroom toys.  Then, we left.  Today, we went back.  It was her very first day of school.  Her very FIRST day.

Did I mention that it was her very first day of school?  Like, EVER?  You would not have guessed it.  She was so confident.  She was actually quite giddy.  First, she said goodbye to her big brother.

Then, we got everything together.  Her lunchbox, her backpack, the play-doh we were donating, and the teacher gifts.  (We bought them pink tervis tumblers.)

Her cute backpack is the “chocolate butterfly” version from PBKids.  Annabel picked it out in April and it’s been sitting on a side table for over four months.  She finally got to use it today.  She was VERY excited.  She wore her blue school T-shirt (required), with a jean skirt from Target (I couldn’t resist the white trim), and her brand new sparkly white sneakers from the Stride-Rite outlet. She picked them out all by herself.

We left early and arrived at her preschool SUPER early SO…more photos!

Oh why, yes, that IS a bruise on her beautiful forehead.  It wouldn’t be my kid if there wasn’t some type of head bump present in a major milestone/holiday photograph.

And there she goes.

She hung up her backpack.  She handed in her play-doh.  She gave her teachers the gift bags.  She was wide-eyed and ready to go.

Before I left I said, “Give me a big hug!”  She did.  And then she said, “And a kiss too, Mama.”  I kissed my baby girl and walked out the door.  I stopped and looked back.  She didn’t.

I walked away thinking about how my little BFF was out in the world without me for the first time.  I was only 20 feet away, but I already missed her terribly.

I swear I didn’t cry until I got to my car.

Daniel starts school next week and he’ll be repeating Pre-Kindergarten.  It’s something I’ve wanted to write about here because it was an important decision we made and it involved a bunch of research, conversations with teachers and friends, and good faith.  It was actually a pretty EASY decision after everything was laid out in front of us.  The pros far outweighed the cons and, in the end, I really never saw any cons at all.

Daniel’s birthday is August 30th and the school cut off day for Kindergarten (in Florida) is September 1st.  He basically makes the cut by two days.  If he were born September 2nd, he would have to wait until the next year to start. He will turn five on August 30th and he will be allowed to enter Kindergarten, but he would most likely be the very youngest child in the class.  He was the youngest one in his Pre-K class this past year too.  He did great academically and he’s a really smart kid, but Daniel is a little shy and more reserved than the others. There were little skills that required extra help (like holding a pencil), but mostly he just lacked some confidence and maturity.  He was well liked and had a lot of friends, but he would never initiate the group play or be super social. The teachers said he had the intelligence to move on, but the emotional maturity he would gain from an extra year of Pre-K would be priceless.  We agreed.

Right around the time we were making our final decision, my husband was reading Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell.  I highly recommend this book.  It talks a lot about this very subject.  He talked about falling behind in grade school and how it can lead to problems later in life.  And giving your child an extra year will ultimately pay off for them socially, emotionally, and financially. If you hold your child back he will be older, stronger, faster, and more mature than the rest of his or her class. Therefore, they will be better positioned to outperform their peers in academic testing and even athletics. By “holding them back” you are basically stacking the deck in FAVOR of your child’s success.

I’ve also never had one single parent tell me they’ve regretted the decision to have their child repeat a grade.  But I have heard the stories of regret if they decided not to do it.  That helped us too.  I don’t want to decide later to have Daniel repeat an older grade when it’s, for lack of a better word, more noticeable.

Daniel also goes to a brand new school this year.  It’s the ideal situation for him to repeat Pre-K.  I know some parents have wrestled with this decision if it involved repeating the grade at the same school in the same classroom with the same teacher.  I definitely had all the signs pointing positively in the direction of our final decision.  Also, it’s just a lot more common these days.  Back when I was in school, you were only “held back” for negative reasons: poor grades, bad behavior, personal issues, etc.  Now it’s an opportunity to have my kid turn 18 at home, instead of during his first week at college.  He can be one of the first ones to get his driver’s license, instead of the last one.  He’ll have this extra year in Pre-K to grow more confident and create a foundation for his future.  And I’m excited because I know we are giving him the very best gift: The gift of time.

I’m not a good cook.  My hubbie is the cook in our family, or, rather, he is the CHEF.  He’s amazing and I’m not motivated to go head to head with his skills.  It’s fine by me.  I like to bake. Sometimes.

Now that Bean is in preschool he is anointed with the “star of the week” title about 3 times during the school year.  As part of the fun, he has to bring in a toy and a book to share each day.  He loves it.  He gets to show off his collection of trucks and cars and books that he loves to read.  On Friday, he has to bring in a special snack to share with the class.  When I think “snack”, I think apple slices or peanut butter crackers or popcorn.  But I quickly learned that when the kids think “snack” it means cupcakes, cookies or brownies.  SUGAR, basically.  In the fall we made cupcakes with leaf sprinkles.  They were a hit!  Yahoo! This time Bean wanted to make sugar cookies.

I loved the idea because the letter they were studying last week was “S.”  So we decided to make SUGAR cookies in the SHAPE of STARS with SPRINKLES!

Easy, right?  Well, not for me, the amateur baker mom.  I know I need to amp up my baking skills since I soon will have TWO kiddies in school.  I didn’t go all homemade but I did buy the sugar cookie package instead of the “bake and break” variety.

The tough part turned out to be the star shapes.  The dough was a bit sticky so pushing the cookie cutters on the dough and then trying to lift up each individual star shape was not working.  Bean and I used our creative skills and made each one directly on the cookie sheet.  It took longer, but it worked!

I found this recipe for the sugar cookie icing.  I give it two thumbs up.  The icing was smooth and shiny.  We used paint brushes to spread on the icing.  That was super fun for Bean.  I personally love, love, love the almond taste and it did not overpower the sugar icing too much either.  Then we quickly tossed on the sprinkles before the icing dried and Voila!  All done!

Since I always anticipate a hiccup when I’m cooking or baking, I decided to use crafty packaging in order to make the cookies SEEM more delicious.   I bought the cellophane bags from Hobby Lobby (my new favorite place) and tied them with ribbon. Each kid would get one star cookie and then we bundled extra cookies together for the teachers.  Then put everything in a fancy basket and there is no way they could be bad.

The cookies actually DID taste good, despite a nightmare I had which involved all the kids throwing their cookies back at Daniel and demanding a cupcake instead.  That didn’t happen at all.  In fact, Daniel said some of the kids asked for seconds!  Awesome! Always leave them wanting more.  I now have 8 weeks to figure out my next sugary creation.

Today was Daniel’s first day of Pre-K. 

He is going  to school EVERY DAY this year, so it will be a bit of an adjustment for us all.  I will miss him.  His sister will miss him.  She wants to go to school too.  She got dressed up and brought her Hello Kitty backpack along for the drop off.

The morning was a little chaotic and I forgot to snap some first day of school photos at the house.  But I saw some other parents taking camera phone photos so at least I remembered to snap a couple of memories. 

I was a little worried about his huge back pack (he wanted this Spider-Man one which was a birthday gift from Pop Pop), but then I saw all the other little munchkins walking around with their over-sized bags.  He has to carry a change of clothes, a lunch box, a folder and any take home projects in it. 

He was also asked to wear his red school T-shirt on the very first day.  Mama was a little upset that Daniel would not be wearing the planned polo shirt and plaid short ensemble.  Daniel was THRILLED to wear a T-shirt.

He had a great first day.  So tonight there should be more sleep and less worry. 

And I’m talking about me, of course.

Daniel’s last day of preschool was one week ago today.  He’s now on “summer break” as we like to tell him.  I’m walking that fine line of letting him be totally relaxed and excited that he doesn’t have to go to school and reminding him that this is just a 3 month break before he has to go back.

You see school has been a little…um…rough.  Like all things with kids, the excitement of preschool took a little U-turn.  After his very first day of preschool, he was thrilled!  That continued for about two months. He LOVED his teacher and the teaching assistant.  He started making friends.  He loved to show me his drawings and glue projects.  He loved music class.  He loved using the school potty (one of my biggest early fears.)

Daniel’s 3 year old preschool program was only two days a week, but after about two months he started to get upset when I dropped him off in the morning.  I had to park and walk him into the small classroom. I liked that.  It gave me the opportunity to see his teacher and watch Bean put his backpack on the wall and sit down.  I felt comfort in leaving him when I knew he was settled.  But it became harder to leave when he would cling to me or cry.

It wasn’t sadness. It was more like a small anxiety attack.  He would ask for water or a tissue and get really upset.  God bless his teacher because she was great at bear hugging him into the classroom and shooing me away.  Then she would always tell me that he was “just fine” five minutes after I left. But STILL. It was HARD.

Bean is my guinea pig.  He’s my first baby.  He’s my first attempt at “crying it out.” My first one to eat the scary solids.  My first one to walk, to talk, to make a friend, to venture out into the big, bad world.  I had no idea what it would be like to send him off to preschool.  It’s been equally rewarding and stressful.

I would always feel better when I picked him up.  He would run to me and hug me and have a huge smile on his face.  It was part glad to see me and part excited to show me a project he did in school that day.   He was doing well.  He was learning new things.  He was happy.

But the morning part never changed.  It would vary in range from small sniffles to those crazy anxiety attacks.  He would worry about the littlest things like if music class was going to be in the BIG room that day or if one of his friends was upset the last time he was in class.  “I hope Madison is not upset today, Mama,” he would tell me.  “Don’t worry about her. She’s fine,” I’d say.  It was a lot of little questions and worry.  But he always went in the room.  He was ALWAYS brave.  “Mama, I was brave today,” he would say when I buckled him into his car seat at the end of the school day. “Yes, Daniel, you are my super brave boy.”

I think I looked forward to the last day of school more than he did.  I was happy to get relief from the anxiety of it all.  The thing is, Daniel is just like me.  I’m a worrier.  I stress.  I over think EVERYTHING. Even as a little girl I would be nervous about the smallest things; especially school things.  Sometimes I feel guilty because I gave Daniel this gene.  But at least I can relate.  Plus, he helps ME.  One example is his first airplane ride.  I was the one who was filled with stress, but I could not let that show so I calmed down.  It’s the same with preschool.  I feel anxiety every time I drop him off, but I learned to smile and sing happy songs all the way to the classroom.   It made ME feel better. (Of course having happy go-lucky little Annabel with us always helped too.  The cute lucky duck got that trait from her Daddy.)

Now, don’t get me wrong.  Daniel made friends.  Daniel did AMAZING in school.  The teacher told me he would speak up and answer questions.  His end of the year “evaluation” was awesome.  He knows his numbers, letters, shapes.  He can write his name.  He can use scissors.  I really have nothing to worry about.  It’s just that he’s my sensitive little boy.  He’s my baby.  He IS a baby.  He was the youngest 3 year old in the class because of his August 30th birthday.  (The cut off for school here is September 1.) His teacher and the Preschool director both think he will do even better next year in the the 4 year old program because of the consistency.

Because it’s EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Okay, I don’t even want to think about THAT right now.  Because school’s out for the summer. YA-HOO.

My baby boy started school today. 

It was his very first day of a three-year-old preschool program. In other words, he left me to spend the morning with a woman I barely know.  I’ve been preparing for this day since September. Back then, I decided to wait a semester since he is a “late” three (August birthday) and I wanted him to be completely comfortable with the potty training. I don’t think I give my kid enough credit.  He was probably ready to go to school back in September.  But, let’s face it, I wasn’t.  His official first day was supposed to be last Tuesday.  But he woke up with a nasty cold, so we delayed a week. 

Today was the BIG DAY.

He woke up a little earlier than usual today.  He was excited.  He had banana bread (his favorite) with a side of bananas (one slice, maybe) and blueberries (three) and a big glass of milk.  He got dressed and watched me put his lunchbox into his backpack and then I think his nerves started to set in.  The difference with Bean now, compared to when he started the Sports Class in the summer,  is that he can really express his feelings so much better.  He can say that he’s nervous.  He told me he might cry, but “just a little bit.”  He wanted to go, but he might want me to stay too. He needed a sip of water so he would feel better. 

We arrived at school a little early so I could show him where to hang his brand new fire truck backpack. He loved when he saw his name above the small hook on the wall.  He saw some Thomas trains to play with so that was awesome.  He tried out the bathroom and hated the loud fan and the big boy seat (no kiddie insert like at home.)  That made ME nervous, but it was time for Mama to leave.  I kissed his cheek, said I loved him, and he sat down at a tiny table.  The teacher tried to distract him with crayons so I could scoot out, but I could hear his small cry and call for me as I turned the corner.  I didn’t cry. I just listened to make sure he stopped crying.  He did.   I peeked one more time  to see him coloring and smiling, so I left.  My baby boy was now at school.  Okay, maybe I cried a little just then.

When I picked him up FOUR HOURS LATER, I got the biggest hug and peanut butter faced smile. Yes, he ate his sandwich.  But nothing else.  He wanted to eat the rest at home.  The teacher said he did GREAT.  Sure, there were some nerves here and there, but overall, just great.  Now Bean is giving up the monumental first day of school information in frustrating bits and pieces.  There’s some fun clean-up song he’s been trying to sing.   He told us he said “Amen” at chapel time.   He sat on big letters on the floor.  There was some type of guitar in music class.  He forgot the name of a friend he made. 

The hardest part is not knowing exactly what he was doing all day at school.  It’s hard knowing that my son was doing things, learning things, seeing things, experiencing things and I wasn’t there.  I may never really know what he loved best, what made him nervous, what made him laugh.  He’s letting go of my hand, one finger at a time.  I hate it.  I love it.   This is what it’s all about.  The first independent step out into the big world.  He did it.   I’m so proud of my little man.