For the love of Pinky

When Daniel was born, someone bought him this stuffed dog:

It’s an “asthma-friendly” stuffed puppy dog and it’s the softest, snuggliest little guy ever.  My husband has asthma, so I was excited to see that a company actually makes asthma-friendly stuffed animals.  Please note that Daniel has many other types of stuffed animals.  Many he received during our baby shower and plenty that we bought him ourselves.   I was just trying to encourage Daniel to snuggle with this special dog during his naps and bedtime, so he would have an asthma-friendly piece of cotton stuffed against his face and body opposed to something that was asthma “unfriendly.” (Ahem.)  Better to be safe, than sorry.  Well, it worked and Daniel still sleeps with “Puppy Dog” today. 

So when Annabel was born, we bought her this:

The same asthma-friendly puppy dog, but in PINK.  We call it “Pinky.”  Annabel is 16 months old, so she only says a few words here and there, but she does say “Pinky.”  Actually, it sounds more like “Inky,” but it works.  I understand her.  What makes Pinky different from Daniel’s Puppy Dog is that Annabel is OBSESSED with Pinky.  Daniel just sleeps with Puppy Dog. Once Daniel is up and out of his bed, that is the end of Puppy Dog for the day.  “See ya next time Puppy Dog.” 

But Annabel is quite different.

Pinky started out as Annabel’s nap and bedtime stuffed animal.  But then she started reaching for Pinky when she was on the changing table.  Pinky kept her quiet and STILL when I had to change her diaper, so that was no problem.  And then Annabel had to have Pinky in the car seat with her during our long vacation road trip.  Fine.  But now things are gaining momentum.

Annabel has begun to SCREAM for Pinky if we leave the bedroom and it’s still in her crib.  Just two weeks ago, Annabel could sit and play with her toys in the living room, but now she has to have Pinky clutched in one arm.  She’s just learned to walk on her own and she has to have Pinky in one hand while she teeter totters around the house. 

(I guess I should be glad she’s holding onto something soft in case she feels the need to slam her head against the coffee table or wall.)

Today, a new habit has emerged.  Pinky had to join her for lunch!  Ugh.  As soon as I put Annabel in her high chair, she screamed for Pinky.  I was holding my ground and just handing her milk and goldfish crackers, but the screaming just got worse and worse.  So I ended up feeding Annabel her chicken soup, yogurt and applesauce while she hugged Pinky against her chest. (And yes, Pinky now has to take another “bath” to wash that broth and pink goop off her fur.)

I’m not trying to be “Mean Mommy” and not let my sweet daughter have a “lovey,” but there is another issue with Pinky.  Annabel puts her thumb in her mouth when she holds Pinky.  Not all of the time, but I notice it right before she goes down for naps or down for the night.  She clasps Pinky in her arms and shoves her thumb in her mouth.  When I check on her an hour later when she is sound sleep, the thumb is out of the mouth, so that makes me happy.  But sometimes when she has Pinky during the day now, and she’s playing, I slowly see her try and creep that thumb in her mouth.

I managed to avoid any pacifier addictions with both Daniel and Annabel. Which was thrilling!  But now I might have to deal with a thumb AND Pinky addiction at the same time.

Leave it to my adorable little girl to shake things up.

Obsession with Sleep

The biggest piece of unsolicited advice I received when I was pregnant with my first child was “SLEEP!”  Moms would always tell me to “Sleep NOW because you won’t sleep again for a LONG time!”  I heard a lot of  “sleep when the baby sleeps” advice too.  I just logged it in the back of my mind with all the other pieces of advice like “take a breastfeeding class” and “buy a wipe warmer.” (Which I never used, BTW.)

I also read all those pregnancy BIBLES (What To Expect…,  The Girlfriends Guide…) and they just had chapter after chapter of overwhelming information.  There was the chapter about the MANY delivery options. The one about the scary things that can happen to the baby.  The one about the scary things that can happen to your BOOBS.  So maybe I just skimmed the chapter on sleep.

I just summed up the sleep part to this: babies like to sleep.  They sleep a lot.  They will eat, poop, and sleep.  That’s what will happen.  Okay, got it.

Bean was a good sleeper during those first three nights in the hospital.  I later read that this is called a big TEASE.  Babies just sleep ALOT when they are first born.  It’s great!  So when we all came home from the hospital, I was ready for my new baby routine.  I thrive on schedules so I was ready for my eat, poop, sleep cycle.  Well, it worked for a little while and then…it didn’t.

I became OBSESSED with sleep.  I could not understand why (after a feeding, a bath, a swaddle, a book and a song) Daniel could not just close his eyes and fall asleep.  He would fight it. I decided to rock him a little longer in my arms so he would get a little more tired.  That didn’t work.  Each day I started messing with the schedule so I could figure out what worked best.  I would panic when Bean would fall asleep in the car seat or the swing.  My husband would tell me to “just let him sleep!”  But I didn’t want him to rock in dreamland for two hours in a car seat or swing because that would equal two hours that he would not sleep at night!  (Well, that’s what I THOUGHT).

I called my sister, who already had two kids, and she recommended this book.  I didn’t really vibe with the sleep parts, so I started researching other sleep books.  That was when my exhausted, new mommy eyes were opened wide for the first time.  There are a bazillion book just on baby sleep!  I thought I was so cool and organized with my five books and my baby planner, but NO.  I surely missed the boat on this world of baby sleep.  I read all the reviews and decided on Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. 

It honestly changed my life. I read the book cover to cover and started to put some of the sleep habits into play.  They worked.  I learned that babies need to go to bed ALOT earlier than you think.  I learned to put Bean down for naps when I saw the very first signs of tiredness.  I learned that “sleep begets sleep” and that a baby who is overtired will sleep LESS.  I learned that your child just can’t sleep too much.  I learned about the sleep cycles and that babies have to teach themselves to sleep.  (Thus the famous “Cry It Out” method all new moms speak about.  It was like torture for me for three nights, but then it was done and my kids SLEPT). It was also a perfect book to reference during each stage of my child’s life.  Weissbluth writes clearly and really made me understand the importance of sleep to a child’s development and temperament.  It made sense to me.  It worked for me.  

I love this book so much that I now give unsolicited advice to new moms-to-be.  “Buy Weissbluth. He rocks!”  They might roll their eyes, but it’s like I uncovered this cool new mom mystery and I just have to share it. 

I still reference the book today.  I wonder when Bean will give up his nap.  (There is a chapter about that.) We are buying him a “big boy bed” this week and I worry that it will mess up his sleep.  (There is a chapter about that.) Every time I hear Annabel coo over the monitor at night, I still wake up and wait until it’s quiet again.  But I don’t go in. (There’s a chapter about that.)

My obsession with sleep continues as my children keep growing, but for now….I have to go to bed.  Good night.