Other People’s Kids (And Clifford the Big Red Diva)

When I was married and the thought of kids was still in the distant future, I would gaze quizzically at families when we were out at the shopping mall, grocery store or having dinner at a restaurant.  Sometimes I would think, “Aw, that family is really cute.”  But most times I would think,  ”Why can’t those parents stop their kid from screaming or acting crazy or crying or WHINING??”  I didn’t walk in parent shoes back then, so I would be so annoyed and often (stupidly) think “Man, I would NEVER let MY kid act like THAT in public.”

Well, then I had kids and two things happened.  First, my Mommy sympathy gene appeared and I am no longer annoyed if other people’s kids are screaming or acting up.  I actually feel bad for them because being a parent is hard.

But another thing happened.  I realized that there are still some things that you CAN control. You can discipline your child and teach them manners. It’s a lot of work and stress, but you can do it.   But some parents just DON’T.

I’ve already mentioned my non-judging rule.  It’s hard to do, but I try REALLY, REALLY hard not to judge other moms.   I don’t know their circumstances and they don’t know mine, so it’s best to leave it at that.

This wasn’t a problem when both of my children were babies.  But now I have a toddler boy who is months away from turning three.  He is at an age where he likes to interact and play with other kids.  Most of the time it is in a completely organized and controlled environment like a Gymboree class.  But there are times when we are out and I have to deal with other people’s kids, whether I like it or not.

One example is the train table at our local Barnes & Noble bookstore.  Bean really enjoys playing with the trains there and I have taught him to share with the other little boys or girls who also come over to play.  He gets a lot of  sharing practice at home with his little sister.  It was hard at first, but now he is definitely understanding that he can’t yank something out of someone’s hand or bop them on the head.

But what am I supposed to do when some other kid behaves badly?  On Friday morning, we were at the bookstore to meet Clifford the Big Red Dog** and Bean went to the train table.  A couple of little boys had grabbed up all the trains and were playing in one corner of the table by themselves.  Bean went over and tried to grab a train.  I told him to wait and please ask the boy for “one train PLEASE.”  Well, Bean asked and reached out for the train at the same time.  Those two little boys stopped and yelled “NO” in unison.  They shoved by Bean and kept playing.  The worst part?  Their moms said nothing.  Bean didn’t get upset.  He just looked at me and I said, “Let’s just go.”  He was fine with that because we went to get a chocolate milk. (Hey, I never said “bribe” wasn’t part of learning.)

On Saturday morning, we all went to the mall where we stopped to play in that germ-filled center court playzone.  My husband watched Bean while I played with Annabel.  There were a bunch of older kids running around as well.  Bean went to climb into the passenger seat of a play car.  A little girl was already in the driver’s seat.  When Bean hiked his leg over to get in, she said “NO!” and wouldn’t let him play.  Later, he went back to climb onto the car and some little boys actually SHOVED him off and said “NO!”  My husband stopped, and yelled at the boys, “Hey! No pushing! Do not push people.” It’s awful to have to discipline other people’s kids, but it’s even worse when their parents sit and watch you do it and do NOTHING.

This happens more than I like.  I don’t want my son to be pushed around and not stand up for himself, but I desperately want him to respect others and have manners.  It’s an interesting learning process with a boy versus a girl.  I feel like we should be teaching Daniel to defend himself a little more because he is a boy.  It’s not right, but I can’t help but to think that way.  It also makes me realize that we won’t always be there to protect him.  That’s really hard.

**So, Clifford the Big Red Dog was a Big Red Diva!  We had been counting down the days to his Big appearance at the book store.  We arrived and were told to sit and wait.  Thirty minutes later, he was finally escorted out from the back by a handler and walked up to a mini stage.  We were allowed to take photos of him for five minutes. 

Photos OF him. Not photos WITH him. 

They said ”No, Sorry” to personal photos because there was no time.  It was hilarious.  Who knew Clifford was such an A-Lister? Plus, I can download a photo of Clifford the Big Red Dog in two seconds from any website.  I don’t need a photo of him.  I want my kids to meet him so I can get a photo of that.  After five minutes, the handler told us to clear a path and stay to the side because Clifford was leaving.  Well, as Clifford walked by us, Bean ran up and gave him a high five!  And I got a photo!

I was so proud of my little boy. He didn’t follow the rules. Sometimes, there are exceptions

Weird

Kids are weird.  My kids are weird.  I use “weird” as a term of endearment.  “Weird” really means “amazingly cute.”

We went to our downtown children’s museum this past weekend to check out their “Robotic Dinosaur” exhibit.  I thought Bean would go nuts.  He loves dinosaurs.  But he wandered through the display completely nonchalant, barely looking, and then begged to go play with the water tables.  Annabel, on the other hand, loved it and would “ROAR” loudly at all the really tall and scary dinosaur displays.

Weird.

Daniel spins around in circles in the living room because he LIKES to be dizzy. 

Weird.

Annabel already hates to wear pants or shorts.  She will struggle and struggle if I try to put a pair on her. 

Weird.

Daniel soothes himself to sleep each nap time by singing “B-I-N-G-O” at the top of his lungs.

Weird.

My kids eat their vegetables BEFORE their meat or potatoes.  Cool, but weird.  Annabel eats corn on the cob like it’s her last meal.  Hilarious, but weird.

This activity table has been sitting in my son’s room since we gave it to him the day Annabel was born a year and a half ago. 

He loved it then, but now he’s totally outgrown it.  He walks around it and ignores it.  The only time he touches it is when he needs to shove it out of the way to play cars and trucks.  Now that we got him his big boy bed, I was excited to move it out of the room for good and donate it to the “poor boy.”

ASIDE: I came up with the “poor boy” to explain to Daniel where things go when they leave our house or his eyesight.  His old T-shirts and pants? Well, they are going to the “poor boy.”  Those baby books and toys? “Poor boy.”  “Daniel, if you don’t stop throwing your cars across the room I’m going to give them to the poor boy!”  It is easier to say “poor boy” than explain Goodwill or Charity to him at this point.  His crib?  “Poor boy.” 

So I moved the activity table to the living room while we assembled and organized the new bed in his room.  I was only putting it there temporarily.  I was planning to move it out to the garage later that day so it could be donated…to the “poor boy.”

But guess who has been playing with the table every moment since:

Weird.

First Dentist Visit

I HATE going to the dentist.  I don’t know when it started.  I think it was with my very first cavity when I was ten. Once I experienced a drill, forget it.  I didn’t want to go back.   I have very “weak” teeth.  I know that sounds like the biggest excuse in the world, but I definitely have problems.  I always had a cavity when my brother and sister would be in the clear.  They ate the same foods I did and brushed their teeth the same number of times I did.  So why me?  It was very frustrating. 

Then, after college, I moved to New York City for a fun radio gig and I really just forgot to the go to the dentist for a couple years.  (It could have been that I was making peanuts and had no health insurance.)  When I finally got back in the dentist chair, I had to have my wisdom teeth pulled.  Then, I had a root canal.  Then, that same tooth cracked and I had to have it pulled.  I also had some not-so-nice dentists and hygienists who would say things like, “How could this hurt?  It SHOULDN’T hurt.”  Yes, because I’m LYING to you that I am in terrible pain.  The last time I went to the dentist was when I was pregnant with Annabel.  I had some final cavities filled.  I don’t think there is much else they can do to my teeth now except the regular cleanings.  Well, I HOPE. 

So, it makes perfect sense that I was super anxious when it was time to take Daniel to his very first dentist visit this morning.  He is almost three.  They recommend you take a child for their first appointment between two and three, so it was time for him to go.  He was excited!  He had seen a child go to the dentist on Sesame Street and ever since then he was constantly saying, “Mama! Mama! Daniel want to go to dentist too!”  I wanted to scream back, “NO! YOU REALLY DON’T KID!”  But I refrained and we made the appointment.

It was a blast.   The pediatric dental office is amazing.  There are colorful chairs and television screens and a video game console.  Daniel got to pick out his own toothbrush.  He wore headphones and watched Stuart Little on the ceiling (!) while the hygienist cleaned and counted his teeth.  He wore super cool shades.  The dentist said his teeth looked great and gave Daniel a high five. Daniel picked out a toy and we left.  It was fun and he loved it which was the most important thing.  (I wish they had pediatric dentists for grown ups.)

Oh, and they can already tell he will need braces. So we can start the Daniel Orthodontic Savings Fund now.

Big Bird and Big Macs

I worked in the world of media and marketing for many years before I became a full time Mommy.  So I try really hard not to be a hypocrite when it comes to allowing media or marketing into my home or into my kids’ world.  I already wrote about how I get sucked into marketing, so I can’t be surprised when it happens to my kids. 

I am definitely cautious when it comes to my children’s television viewing habits.  Daniel and Annabel are only 2 1/2 years and 16 months old, so they definitely should not be watching TOO much television.  They watch an hour in the morning and 30 minutes before dinner.  I also believe that there are some benefits to educational television like the shows found on PBS or Noggin.  One of the benefits is that I get a break.  (Ha.)   Some days I really need that extra time in the morning to get dressed, check my email, or even go to the bathroom.  The hour program they watch each weekday morning is the ol’ classic, Sesame Street.  It’s a PBS program, it’s educational, and I watched it when I was little, so I feel pretty good about it.  The characters are familiar (although we never had that crazy ELMO), so I enjoy it as well.  Daniel loves the “Letter of the Day,” the “Number of the Day,” and all the fun songs.  We love the family life vignettes when the children take a bath, bake a cake, or go to the dentist.  It’s a great show and they are LEARNING something too.  (Win-Win!)

The funny thing is sometimes Daniel gets most excited at the very beginning BEFORE the show actually starts.  He loves to recite the Sesame Street show SPONSORS.  (Each sponsor has a colorful 15 second “commercial” with a voiceover that thanks them for “sponsoring” Sesame Street.)

“Mama, Mama!…NEW BALANCE!”  “Mama, Mama!…BEACHES!”  “Mama!  Mama!…MCDONALD’S!”

It’s hilarious because the professional side of me is thinking, “Wow! These corporations are super smart.  They even have my two year old son shouting out their brand names!”  Then, the other side of me is thinking, “Wait. The entire point of watching a show on PBS with my kids is to avoid the infiltration of advertisers.”  But they found a way around that by having corporate “sponsors,” not advertisers. Well, good for them.  This is America.

We also listen to a lot of music in the house.  Most days I throw in a children’s CD to sing along with while we play or do projects.  My husband works in radio so, other days, we just leave the radio on.  Well, today I’m making lunch and the radio is on in the kitchen.  A commercial comes on for “Money Pages” (some coupon mailer) and after listening to it for about 10 seconds, Daniel starts singing the jingle. “The Money Pages..la la la..in your..MAILBOX!”   He’s been listening to 50 different kid songs on the CD all morning and THIS is what he decides to sing along to while waiting for his PB&J?!  It’s a little scary, but still so darn cute!  I start clapping my hands and singing along too.  Annabel starts to laugh and we all sing the chorus, “The Money Pages..la la la..in your..MAILBOX!”  (If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, right?)

BTW, today’s blog entry WAS NOT brought to you by The Money Pages or Beaches Resort or New Balance or McDonald’s. (Although I sure could use one of their new Caramel Iced Coffees right now - Yum.)

What’s New?

Conversation with a toddler, age 2 ½:

Bean:  (Looking in the fridge) “Mama!  Mama!  NEW milk!”

Me:  “Yes, Daniel, there’s new milk in the fridge.” 

Bean:  “Mama!  NEW YELLOW milk!”

Me:  “Yes, it’s a new yellow milk CONTAINER.” (Some organic version from the local gas station mini mart.)  “But it tastes the same Bean.”

Bean:  “Mama!  Daniel drink NEW YELLOW MILK for lunch!”

Me:  “Yes, Daniel, but we have to clean up first.  Put away all these toys.  And then we have to change your diaper.”

Bean:  “NO! NO! NO Mama! Daniel no change diaper!”

Me:  “Yes Bean…”

Bean: “NO! NO! NO Mama!  Daniel no change diaper!”

Me: “Come on, Bean. Let’s go change your diaper….”

Bean:  “NO! NO! NO Mama!  Daniel no change diaper!”

Me:  “Okay. Then, let’s go sit on the potty.”

Bean: “NO! NO! NO Mama!  Daniel no sit on potty!”

Me:  “Well, then let’s go change your diaper…now!”

Bean:  “NO! NO! NO Mama!  Daniel no change diaper!”

Me:  (under my breath) “Oh GEEZ Daniel, what else is new….”

 Bean: “NEW MILK!  Daniel drink NEW YELLOW MILK!!”

 Okay, I set him up.  Good one, son.