In 2013…

We welcomed him back.

She was the touch down.

Annabel turned five

and had her first tea party.

I met some new girls

and my boy got what he deserved.

I became a soccer (and basketball and baseball) mom again.

We added ponies to the bunnies and chocolate.

He continued to entertain.

I was lovely.

That’s what she said.

We went to our favorite place and Daddy and Annabel began a new tradition.

Annabel graduated Pre-K and Daniel graduated Kindergarten.

Daniel went to his first golf tournament and on his first camping trip.

We went to the ballpark

and ended a season.

Daniel camped again.

There was a sad end

and a happy beginning.

The summer ended

and school began.

There was a reunion and the “twerk” that started it all.

Daniel turned seven and

we went to the land of Legos.

We celebrated our anniversary in Tampa with John.

Annabel hit a new milestone.

I cried.

I roared.

Annabel roared for the first time.

We fell in love with the nanny.

We met the newbies.

It was all about a red dress

and a bunch of sparkly ones too.

I worked on my happy

while experiencing some sad.

I hung out with a doctor and a wizard.

And even though everything was about being together as a family,

this was definitely the year of the “selfie.”

I also sat in the front row of a concert for the very first time. Of course, it was John Mayer, one of my all time favs. He released Paradise Valley this year and I was obsessed. I was also lucky to meet him again backstage and, speaking of the year of the “selfie,” capture this epic photo.

The concert was AMAZING. It was such a cool experience to be that close. Especially since John does not move around too much and is a master of the guitar. I could see every finger move and every side conversation.

This was also the year Daniel became OBSESSED with football. He started watching every professional and college game and would wake up reciting scores and stats. He loved going to Jags games. He walked around the house tossing his football in the air and practiced plays in the backyard with his sister. (She’s getting obsessed too!) Annabel officially became a daisy scout this year! She was so proud. She also had her first daisy scout pajama dance. She had a blast. Especially since “Pinky” joined her for the fun.

You’ve been really good to us, 2013. We pray for more blessings and family fun in 2014. Happy New Year, everyone.

(And here are some pics from our annual “Noon” Year’s Eve party with our friends in Jacksonville Beach. I love traditions. I love these people.)

 

That title sounds a lot more gloomy than I intended. It really has to do with this:

Daniel can’t fit his face into that wooden football player’s anymore. They both can’t poke their heads out the window of the cute pumpkin carriage. And this:

They are both getting WAY too big to sit on that little blue tractor. The one they have sat on for the past seven years.

My husband and I both looked at each other after we left the little pumpkin patch a few weeks ago and said, “Maybe we should do something else next year? Move on? Start a NEW tradition?”

It’s kinda sad. I’ve had pictures of the kids at this same pumpkin patch every year since they were wee little ones. I’d dress them in western wear or Halloween outfits. We’d always take the mandatory photos and then pick out our Halloween pumpkins. I’d also grab some colorful gourds for the dining table. But we’ve just outgrown it.

It’s funny because I never think about the end when we start a new family tradition. I imagine it being forever. I enjoy traditions because I’m a sentimental person. I love creating memories and experiencing them again year after year. It’s comforting. Most of our traditions are holiday related, but not all of them. We always pick out our Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving and buy one new ornament every year at the mall. I leave my kids a construction paper note with a small gift on the first day of school. I take them out to lunch on their last day of school. They get a small gift on their half birthdays. We go to the same beach condo every year.

But as they get older, some of these traditions will more than likely fade away. I will seriously weep when we stop visiting Santa. And I know the kids will want to venture out on their summer vacations. And now I need to start looking for a new pumpkin patch. One with more “big kid” things to do. And then the day will come when I’ll just pick up pumpkins at the grocery store on my way home from some school event. And that’s okay.

It’s my life with my family. There are so many moments. So much motion. Every experience is new and exciting and as soon as you figure out the routine and fall into that cozy space, it changes. Not for the bad. But for the new again. You can’t enjoy the same ride too long. You have to finally get off the little blue tractor and let someone else have a turn.

Aw, man. I love when I can capture a picture like this. That’s one happy kid. That’s JOY.

Daniel hates to pose for pictures and I’m getting better about just snapping the moment without staging it. Annabel will ham it up, but the best shots are the purest ones. The ones where they aren’t looking. The ones when they’re truly happy.

“That’s what I want for you. I want you to be happy.” I tell them that all the time. I took Daniel out of camp this summer because the look on his face after he came home the first day was horrible. “It’s not worth it,” I told him. “Remember, I want you to be happy.” It gets tricky too. I understand that their homework does not make them happy or maybe even a sport doesn’t thrill them right now, but certain things are fine because I know it will lead to two confident, happy people.

The thing is…I’M not always happy. The few people that really, really know me understand how sensitive I am. Most people see me as organized, hard working, and caring. As happy. But the truth is, I over think everything. I hate that I still care too much about what other people think of me. It’s this crutch that I’ve carried since childhood that makes it difficult for me to say “no” or put myself first. I really enjoy being a Mom because I can put my energy into my kids. But I feel defeated knowing that I’m still a work in progress. That I lack self confidence. That I have anxiety. That I still think about this and this. That I’m still looking for my place. For the perfect, comfy seat. For peace. For joy.

The other thing is the constant influx of bad news. Man, it will just ruin my day. I’ve finally stopped reading it. You know how celebrities say they don’t like to read bad reviews or negative comments because it will make their work suffer? Well, I’ve had to stop reading the headlines because it will make my day suffer. I do believe that people are good, but there is so much bad it weighs on my mind. Another mass shooting, another child missing, another bully-inspired suicide. I’m overwhelmed with protecting my family from it all. I’m overwhelmed with what I can do to help or how I can make a difference. What is the point of writing about Prince George’s christening dress or Taylor Swift’s new song?  Shouldn’t I be trying to make the world a better place? What SHOULD I do?

Phew. Breathe, maybe?

Well, what I do is what I know. I go back to writing about Prince George’s christening dress and Taylor Swift’s new song. I volunteer in the school lunchroom and for the PTO board. I start a new business. I conquer my fear of going to the doctor and I exercise more. I learn to say “no.” I read other amazing blogs that give me inspiration. I pray. I make donations. I go out with awesome friends. I watch my kids play. I remember to be grateful. I remind myself that I’m so very blessed. And then, there it is. Just like that. The happy. The joy.

 

Annabel went to her first professional football game yesterday. And even though the Jacksonville Jaguars lost, she had a blast. (We are having a really, really sad season. But we “Stand United!”)

Daniel had been to a few games with Daddy already, so it was time for my little girl to experience the excitement. She wore her pink jersey and we bought her some Jaguar ears at the stadium store. She had so much fun trying to get beads from the attendants walking around. She watched the game, but mostly danced around with her brother and friends. She had a super pretzel and cotton candy for lunch. What could be better.

“Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself.”  – Edmund Lee

Reason #178,655 why I love this kid:

¡°Mama, you know how some of my friends like Transformers and Superman and Superheroes and other things like that?  Well, I like maps and buildings.  I like that . I like that I¡¯m different.¡±

They say it¡¯s ¡°Lucky Seven.¡±  Well, I¡¯M the lucky one.  I get to be your Mama.  Happy 7th Birthday, Daniel.  I love you.